Pics of the Enemies

Taylor Stories: The DS Incident

It is the Christmas season and I remember something Ralphie said in "The Christmas Story," nothing got a child in more trouble than broken glasses. I am paraphrasing of course because I have not watch the movie yet this season.

I would like to add to that statement. Nothing gets a child in more trouble than broken glasses and a lost or damage Nintendo DS (PSP certainly qualifies).

The day after Thanksgiving is usually a quiet day. My husband and I had tried to go to Old Navy because they advertised great promo. It was pouring rain and the place was not opened. Black Friday turned out to be a disaster, thanks Old Navy.

You might be wondering what this has to do with my daughter DS incident. Nothing really I am just still mad.

Anyway I slept in that day due to the fact I had stayed up all night. Quite frankly the next day I felt like I had a hangover even though I never drank anything.

So when the children wanted to go outside and play, I was all for it. Considering I was still tired I did not notice the objects they took outside.

Three hours after they went out, I walked outside to check on these children. No one was at the playground. The playground is literally next door to our apartment.

So I got into my car and drove around the park. I found these children playing by a creek in the middle of the park. Well I am already mad and this just added to my fury. Here is a tip for all you children. NO PARENT WANTS TO HAVE TO LOOK FOR YOU.

So I informed these children of mine to come home IMMEDIATELY.

So they did. When Taylor came through the door she was hystrecial. I heard the dreaded words that any mom who lives in a capitalist country does not want to hear.

"MOM, someone stole my DS."

My mind froze. What did this child just say? Why was her DS outside?

I was instantly angry. Furious was a better description.

"You did what?"

Some rational part of my brain said........Don't yell. Don't yell.

Of course the emotional angry part of my brain then cursed at my rational part of my brain and told it to shut up.

The yelling commenced. The tears flew. The yelling continued.

What do you mean your DS was stolen? This is what I meant say.

So here is the story as I remember between the yelling.

"Mommy, I took my DS outside to play. Logan wanted to take us to the other part of the park to play. So I hide my DS on the playground so no one would find. I came back and it was gone. Someone stole it."

I am not sure what part of this was a good idea.

My response:

"Why did you take your DS on the playground? Why didn't you bring it inside? Was the walk to long for you? What made you think you had permission to take it outside."

Her response:

"I didn't know I was not aloud."

Pause................yelling again. Crying again.

Logan went searching for the DS. I sat on the couch and tried again to calm down.

Taylor sat on her bed sobbing.

So later that night my daughter who is a genious at kissing up comes to me with this incredible solo performance.

"Mommy, I think I deserve a spanking. You should spank me. Daddy should spank me. Then you should ground me for three months. I mean I feel like I am the most retarded person in the whole world. I deserve severe punishment"

I had no words (which does not happen often).

Either two things, she was sincere or she was super smooth. I have not decided yet.

This has not been concluded yet because Logan did not find her DS. I made fliers with REWARD at the top of them. I am hoping someone finds it or turns it in.

I have not punished her yet. Joe and I are still discussing it. We are in unfamiliar territory.

Joey Stories: The Legendary Home Invasion Incident

As a mother, nothing ever surprises me anymore.

It started out a normal day. I worked and on break I got the children from the bus.

I had a few errands to run during my break. So I went to the bank and had to take the little ones because Joe was at work. At the bank the nice teller offered my son a piece of candy. He choose a sucker. Pretty normal stuff.

So as he was walking to the car, I saw him drop the sucker and immediately pick it up and stick it in is his mouth. After that he looked at me to see if I had noticed.

Any mother, at any time will explode with anger after seeing this move. So I took hi back in the bank and asked the teller if we could have another one.

So fine. But now a little shiver of annoyance was starting to creep up my spine.

We get home and I am getting ready to unlock my door. When out of the corner of the eye it happens. My son fell into someone's apartment because he leaned on their door. I immediately yanked him out the person doorway and closed the door. I am not sure if the man even knew what happened, but I ushered my son in the house.

However now that shiver in my spine had now turned into full fledged tension. Good job Joey.

Questions that Instantly Irritate Parents

All of these questions has tendency of
spending a nagging pain down a mom's
spine. This is especially true if you have
a long day at work.


1. Mom, can you make him stop?

2. Mom, can I have a snack?

3. Mom, can I have a toy?

4. Mom, can you make him stop touching me?

5. Mom, why is he looking at me?

6. Mom, can you go to the store and buy me stuff for my project that is due tomorrow?

7. Mom, can my friend come over, because I already asked her?

8. Mom, I know you have been working all day and your hair is mess and you have circles under your eyes but can you meet my new friend's mom?

9. Mom, why did my brother (and/or sister) get more than I did?

10. Mom, can I watch SpongeBob again?

11. Mom, why.......? (This is especially annoying when you are told you are wrong after)

12. Mom, are you hiding from us again?

*Feel free to send me any question that irritates you. I will be happy to add it.

Added By Jaime......"one that annoys me is right when I walk in the door I get, mom what's for dinner, or mom is dinner ready yet."

Added By Stephanie....The setting: School Morning, 5am (coffee still perking)
"Mom, have you washed clothes. I have nothing to wear."

Joey Stories: The Legendary Crayon Incident

So my oldest son has been in trouble for many stupid things and some not so stupid. Logan has been suspended for shining lights in a kids eye. The laser was considered a weapon. He got in trouble for biting a child when he was six because the kid was picking his nose.......I know don't ask.

But my favorite was when he tried to break into a snack machine with a plastic fork. It was at that time Joe and I stopped pushing to get Logan in the honors programs. But this story is about Joey.

So today I get a call from the school. Having three children, for a split second I thought......Who did it? Okay I thought which boy did it.

So I answer the phone and there was a serious voice on the other end.......

"Is this Mrs. Rupp?"

"Yessssssss."

"I wanted to talk to you about your son." (Aha, knew it was one of the boys)

"Okay"

"I am the librarian at Three Chopt. I am concerned about your son Joey, there was an incident today in the library"

(.......oh no.........what did he do?) I thought.

"Mrs. Rupp, as long as known Joey, he has never acted out. So I was really shocked when he did today."

My heart dropped and I was praying it did not involve his private parts. AND he has been at this school for three weeks. Don't tell me he already has a reputation.

"Well, I caught him........breaking crayons."

"And".......okay I did not say that but I wanted too.

Actually I told her that Joe and I would certainly reinforce her punishment and sit down and speak with the lad.

Okay I did not say lad either. But it took all my power not to laugh.

This was a serous situation but I am not worried about him becoming a psychopath when he is a man.

So I made him write a letter of apology AND the librarian banned him from using crayons for the rest of the year.

I mean I know we are in a recession and schools are in need of money but I do not think there is a great crayon shortage.

"

Joey Stories: The Legendary Itchy Private Incident

I realized I have not blogged about my little turkey man in awhile. Man I have some funny stories about my little Joey. So I going to try to put them up on my blog.

First of all, let me explain something. I have three half sisters and two step sisters. There is not a boy in my immediate family but my dad. So having two boys has been a challenge.

Logan was pretty mellow. He was private little boy and always fairly inhibited when it came to his private parts.

Then my little Joey man came along, not only is he an exhibitionist, he is proud of the parts God gave him. In fact he is pretty fascinated by his privates.

Anyone with boys will tell you this is natural. Well I was still not prepared.

Not only is he proud of his parts, he never wears clothes. If we walked in the door anytime, he is in his underwear. My husband is constantly telling him......."son, put your clothes back on."

Not only does he walk around with in his underwear, he always has his hand on it.

So one day, I asked him......"Son, why is hand constantly on your private parts?"

He looked at me with the most serious face and said, "Mommy, it always itches." In fact, he looked at me like, jeez mom, I thought you would know.

Well I am not boy and lack those parts, so I am kinda lost. My husband proceeded to laugh at me because I thought he had a serious medical problem. Apparently I was informed that it was just an excuse.

I have many more Joey stories, but my mind is blank right now.

A Family Day: The Pumpkin Patch

Joe and I are always trying to find authentic things for the kids to experience. A lot times we especially look for things we enjoyed when we were children. Not my parents never took me to a pumpkin patch but I did go on a lot of hayrides with my church.

In fact the last hayride I was on ended with my step-dad running over my neighbor with the wagon portion. That was in 1992, do not worry the kid lived. That was the last time.

Now seventeen years after that day, I went on a hayride with my kids.

My kids had a blast. It was their first hayride. After the ride, which was free BTW, we took a wheel barrel out to the patch and pick out a pumpkin. Man Joey was like a kid in the candy store. Then there was a maze made out of haystacks.

The kids has a blast, now the real challenge, carving them without any permanent injuries.

How to Handle a PreTeen Little Girl Who is Starting Puberty:Phone Calls

Even though I was a teenage girl, I never thought of myself of as a normal teenage girl.

I have three sisters and a butt load little girlfriends but I find myself lost when it comes to my daughter. So I am going to share with everyone what I have learned thus far.

Lesson One:

One day out of know where I get a little girl voice asking me a question. I should have known at the time puberty was beginning but apparently I am not that bright. So I now realize this question was a signal, a sign of change, or maybe even a warning signal.

The question was........"Mommy can I call my friend?"

I had no idea what I just walked into at that moment. Because not only was that question a caution sign that puberty had reared its ugly face, it was also a question I was going to hear multiple times everyday and in my dreams at night.

Now we went from having one little girlfriend to call everyday to a huge list of girlfriends. No parenting manual could prepare me for what happened a few days ago. Somehow Taylor got it in her head that her little brother lost her list of phone numbers. In fact she thought he had thrown the list in the garbage.

It turned into a massive meltdown within minutes. She was hysterical and she was sobbing her little eyes out. I had no idea that these numbers were the key to my little girl's sanity. But apparently they were.

So after minutes of trying to figure out why my preteen was bawling hysterically I found the numbers. Crisis averted but lesson learned.

The cutest thing that my little social butterfly will do lately while she is on the phone is use speaker phone. So the house gets to hear the cute little conversations she has with her little friends.

Of course her daddy has now found this to be a great opportunity to tease her by making faces at her when she is talking on the phone. But his favorite thing to do it dance to the Miley Cryus while she is listening to her little stereo with her friend on the line. I mean I really did not know my little girl could roll her eyes that many times in a five minute span.

Homecoming Photos

Homecoming the Final Chapter

So all jokes aside.

My son had his first homecoming dance. I was mixed with all these unfamiliar motions.

When I was a teenager I was completely socially awkward (I know every one is shocked). I was never really taught social graces. I always felt really insecure. My high school years was a culmination of these feelings. I was never asked to homecoming, on dates, or to the prom. I spent my teenage years looking at people and just wishing I fit in. I would probably have been a better student and not dropped out had I not felt so out of place.

With that being said, every parent wants their child to accomplish more than they have in their life.

Logan, my oldest was born when I was seventeen. I swore that I would make his life better than mind.

As he got older, I realized he share a lot of my social awkwardness. I did not want him to take my path in life.

this year began his sophomore year in high school. A week before he went back to school, he started dating the cutest girl. She seems to be head over heals for my son. So she asked to him Homecoming.

I swear I was more nervous than they were. I took him shopping that morning to buy a suit. We came home and waited until it was time to go.

I drove him to his girlfriend's house and chatted with her mom. I finally left after several photos for my facebook page. When I left her house, I had tears in my eyes. I realized my little boy was growing into a man.

My mind raced with memories of the day he was born. I thought about the first time he walked and spoke my name. He was so little the day he started kindergarten. My baby was living a normal life doing normal teenage things. I think that our family finally broke the tradition.

Logan will be able to surpass me and grow into a normal person a lot faster than I did. I hope all of my children will grow into good people. I know Logan is on the right path.

I love my not-so-little little Logan.

Snacks....Snacks......Snacks

I love my children but something has to be said.........

Fact One:
Snacks are not a form of recreation. I promise you can find something do besides eat. You have a buttload of toys Santa brought last year.

Fact Two:
Snacks do not grow on trees. Well there is no gummy bear tree (I know I looked). If you eat it, no one will come and magically replace the snack. Snacks cost money, so make them last. I am not going back the grocery store in two days to replenish your stocks of goodies.

Fact Three:
People in third worlds country do not get three square meals a day. I am sure snacks are a luxury in most places. In fact I doubt they ask for a snack 15 minutes after dinner.

Fact Four:
This is most important fact of all. Your dad and I have our own snacks. DO NOT TOUCH them. Nothing brings groundings on like finding out all the snacks are gone, much less all the snacks that are hidden from you. Look you father and I work hard and we want our certain snacks or ice cream. We have standards in our snack choice. You are not allowed to have standards, you have "on sale" snacks.

Final Fact:
If you searching for a snack and cannot find either two things have happened.
A. You ate them all
B. Your mom was so mad that she bought no snacks

Homecoming.....Part 2

So I thought I would completely embarrass my oldest child because he ate all my ice cream last night. Rarely do I want a snack but the time I do my demon children usually has already inhaled it.

So this is for my Logi-Bear.

So the Homecoming Dance is coming upon us. I already have in my head all the things I have to do before Saturday.

1. Order the bouquet thingy for his girlfriend's arm

2. Take him to buy a new outfit

3. Clear out my camera for pictures

4. Look closely at my teenager to make sure he has proper hygiene

So him and I are sitting at his new high school waiting for his counselor. I thought I could check off number four from my list. So I glance at my son to survey his general appearance. First I notice the child is wearing dirty jeans. So I am already annoyed.

Let me give you a quick back story, Logan has one long hair on his chin. It is cute and amuses me and his father. He does not come from a long line of men with facial hair. His grandpa and his biological person has little facial hair. Now my husband can grow a beard like the bad guy can grow a mustache in the SpongeBob movie. Considering Logan does not share a genetic genes with Joe, Logan has always been jealous of the fact Joe can grow facial hair. He had a sneaky suspicion he would not be able to grow hair like Joe.

Back to my story, I look over at my son taking inventory of how he looks. Low and behold I see the cutest thing ever. On the side of his left cheek are hairs. They are cutest, longest cheek hairs I have ever seen.

So now our quandary is whether he should shave his two cheek hairs and one chin hair before Homecoming.......or should be go all natural.

The Homecoming Story....Part 1

So my teen boy who is SUPER smooth has his first REAL girlfriend. Man it is love. You know we have all been there.

So my son's girlfriend asked him if he wanted to go to Homecoming with her on October 11. Without thinking twice, he was like...YEP. (He doesn't like using words with more than one syllable)

Considering the boy has never been interested in school functions, I was slightly shocked.

So later that night we were talking about how we needed to prepare for Homecoming. Joe was talking to Logan about getting wrist bouquet for his girlfriend instead of flower thingy to pin to her chest.

I noticed this blank look on Logan's face.

I was like son, why are you confused. He responded, "I thought we were talking about the Homecoming football game."

So my brilliant son agreed to go to dance and he thought he agreed to go to a football game.

Fortunately he still wants to go, so he is going to Homecoming on Saturday.

I am sure he will do something else blog worthy.

How to Handle a PreTeen Little Girl Who is Starting Puberty

I got nothing.

Mommy Secrets Reveal.......

Idle Threats.

Moms are full of idle threats.

So I am going to lay it out for you.

1. We will not punch you in the face. (We may want to)

2. There are no gypsies we can call to come take you away. (We looked.)

3. We cannot not take you back to the hospital and trade you in for a different model. (Why start over)

4. Santa will come see you despite your behavior.

5. We will not knock your heads together.

6. We are not pulling the car over. (However don't push us too far.)

7. We are not going to make you go with the other family who treats there kids wonderfully. (They are fictional)

8. Usually we are not leaving the store if you don't behave. (We do not want to have to make a second trip.)

9. We will not ground you for the rest of your life, just until you move out.

10. We will not shoot in the face. (We do not purchase guns due to the temptation.)

WARNING: We might do not any of the things above, but DO NOT PUSH US. We can find others ways to make you suffer without violence.

Mommy Secrets Revealed..........

Nagging Works Sometimes.....

This is primarily applies to multiple-children families.

If you have no brothers or sisters, it is not likely this will work.

AND if you are the oldest, good luck because our will is still strong.

As I said before in my Mommy Rules post, Mommies want quiet. Once again this can be a tactical advantage for a child.

Mommies do not have a super strength and can be worn down. I have the general policy which states, " I do not negotiate with terrorist."

Nagging can be our kryptonite.

When we want quiet anything is possible.

Mommy Secrets Revealed..........

Mommy Got Talent

Mommies have the unique ability to stare straight at a child while they talk and never comprehend a word they are saying.

Sometimes the only thing we hear is, "So is it okay with you mom?"

A lot of times we have no idea what we just agreed to let you do or have.

This gives children a tactical advantage in the war. They can always say, "But mommy you agreed."

We might have. We don't know. If we get mad, that means we can't remember.

Mommy Secrets Revealed

Mommies do not have eyes in the back of their heads.

Children do not realize that sound travels.

It does not matter the age, a child will always look at as if to say......"How did you know?"

My poor children still have not figured it out.

Sometimes I think they thing I am old and going deaf.

Mommy Rules

Here are the rules in my house. They might be similar in yours.


NOTE: I do not care about fair or justice. That is democracy, you live in a dictatorship.


1. Clean laundry is to be put away:
I did not just spend four hours washing and folding for you to put your clothes on the floor, by the dresser, next to the closet......or any where else which is not the proper place.

2. Do not drag me into your arguments:
This is for your own sanity. I do not care who started it, who is right, who is the victim......I only care about quiet and your arguments are not quiet. If you have any sense, please negotiate with your sister and/or brother. You will NOT like how I settle it. Please refer to NOTE above.

3. Dishwashers, put all dishes in the dishwasher:
Now I am sure that you do not want to hear about how I had to wash dishes by hand back in the day (80s). You should appreciate the fact that you have one and fill the dishwasher to capacity. I do not want to walk in and just see plates and cups in the dishwasher and the pots and pans in the sink. AND no, it does not take 24 hours for pots and pans to soak.

4. I am not the entertainment committee:
I have no idea why you so are bored. I am not sure why Santa brought you all those toys if they were going to bore you. So maybe Santa will bring you clothes next year, since you are bored with all your toys by January.

5. You do not need a snack every hour:
No one needs to eat every hour. I know that your metabolism is faster than mine, but please.
If you are eating out of boredom, please reference number 4.

6. Do not only talk to me when you want something:
It is not my job to be your personal granter of wishes. Please talk to me about more than what you want. Nothing is more annoying to any mom it than constantly hear "Can I have....." We are people too, we were not born to grant you every wish.

7. Toilet Paper:
This is big one. IT BELONGS ON THE ROLL. Not beside it, not on the floor, not on the back of the toilet, ON THE ROLL. It takes a total of 5 more seconds to put it on the roll. Please do so.

8. Television Rights: You have none. See note above. If I want watch America's Got Talent or Cake Boss, too bad. If I want to watch a R-rated movie on HBO, your father and I paid for it. When you get jobs and pay for cable, you can watch FlapJack or SpongeBob until your little hearts content.

9: My Memory:
My memory is not that bad, if you repeat something more than twice, I will remember it. If you repeat more than 20 times, I am going to get mad. Granted I cannot remember all your names all the times, but my brain does function.

10. My Word is Final:
As I said before, I do not care about fair or justice. So save your breathe for debate class. I am like President Bush, I do not negotiate with terrorist.

*** These rules are posted for your self-interest. At anytime if I feel it necessary to change them for your welfare, your safety, or my amusement, I shall do so. I have no obligation to let you know in advance.

Steps to Making Rice Krispies Treat with Children

Here are the Step By Step Instructions.

Took me 30 something years to figure it out, but I got it down to the science.

Step one, argue with your children on who gets to pour the cereal and the marshmallows in the pan.

Step two, take the marshmallows away from said kids who are still arguing and put them in the container and put it in the oven.

Step three, add 3 tablespoons of butter while still in the oven, while trying to protect the remanding marshmallows from the 5 year old's greedy hands.

Step four, tell your 5 year old that it will be another 30 seconds every time he asks. This will last for about 5 minutes.

Step five, pull pan out of the oven. Let the ten year old stir the marshmallows and the 5 year old pour the cereal. Tip....try really hard not to lose count of the cups. The 5 year old will forget and this will start an argument.

Step six, after all the cereal and the marshmallow is mixed by the children, tell them good job. And take over. Mix it the proper way while the kids are licking their fingers.

Final step, take wax paper and push the mixture down. Then remind the children that no one can eat it until it sets. Then remind them that you will shoot them in the face if anyone touches the treats before they are ready. Repeat if necessary.

Then turn on the WII to keep them occupied.

Just a reminder...if you sleep late you will not get any treats. Make sure to eat at least one before you go to bed.

Logan is 15

It is hard to believe that Logan is fifteen.

It seems like yesterday that he was sleeping on my chest every night.

I will never forget his little hands and feet. He had the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen.

Let me back up. On March 27th I was woke up by labor pains. I knew instantly that it was time. But I also knew I had time. So I told Logan's biological father that I felt like I was in labor. He just looked at me and went back to sleep. I decided to walk to the store and buy something.

While there I had a contraction. The woman behind corner asked me if I was okay. I said, oh yeah I am just in labor. I have plenty of time.

We went to Bob and Maggie's house. I do not remember a lot. I just remember sitting on the couch contracting. But they were not close enough and I did not want to be sent home. So I waited and contracted. Bob sat with me while I contracted. He watched me like I was a time bomb.

I told Logan's aunt Mary that I was in labor. She did not believe me. So I went with her to clean an office. I sat while she cleaned. She made me sit on plastic because she was afraid my water would break.

After that she took me to the hospital. It was about 8pm on Sunday night. They checked me and I was 5 centimeters dilated. No turning back he was on the way.

The nurse broke my water and the pain was extraordinary. I remember Mary patting my hand during the contraction and Kenny just standing there confused. That is all I really remember about him being there.

The funny thing was Mary would talk on the phone between contractions. She is a real idiot but I am glad someone was there besides Kenny. It is not like I really had anyone to support me at that time.

I was lonely until the moment Logan was born.

Anyway a man came in an gave me my epidural. I wanted to marry that man. He was beautiful. The pain was gone and I was finally able to relax.

I was finally able to relax. I remember them coming in and putting a heart monitor on his forehead. I am not sure if that was before or after the epidural, but it has been 15 years.

I remember after a while. I started to feel pressure. I told the nurse that I thought he was coming. She told me that she thought it would be about 8am. I did not think so because I was starting to feel pain again. It was not contractions.

I think it was about 2 or 3 am. I think finally I started feeling a lot of pressure. I wanted it out. My back was killing me. In the chaos of the moments after that, I do not remember when I started pushing. I just remember Dr. Gelman coming in when I was crowning.

I remember thinking at some point that they said they would call the doctor when it was time. I remember panicking and thinking that man was probably having sex with his wife and I would have to wait until the was done. I was not rational in those moments.

I started pushing and he walked in. He pulled Logan out. I remember crying and saying thank God. Not because he was here but because the pain was gone. At one point during I remember telling that I was going to have to cut me because his head was so big.

Another memory I have, was the nurse checking me before I started pushing. I remember her telling that she could see dark hair.

They pulled him out and put him on my stomach. He was so beautiful. He did not have any hair. So I really do not think the nurse knew what she was looking at before I was pushing.

I had him at 3:48 or 3:59am. I get mixed only because they initially mixed up the times on different documents. So it never stuck in my long term memory.

I could not sleep. I was so excited. The nurse cleaned me up and before you know I was walking around. I was so happy. I called my dad.

He came straight to the hospital. He seem to gloat over him and left. Soon after that, I am not sure when but my mom and MS showed up. It is blurry for the rest of the day.

I remember that when I went to sleep, the nurse came in and wanted to take Logan to the nursery. I was not having it. She was kinda mean. She told I needed the rest. I told her that she was not going to be with me when I take him home.

She came back later and told me that I needed to leave my door opened. I pretty sure that she was not happy about teen moms. Whatever, the next day I was discharged. It took them forever to come get me and I got pissy and took him blankets and my hospital gown. You can still see the benadine on garment.

Today 15 years later, so much has changed. I would love to say he is my little man but he is not. He is a teenager. Sometimes I wish I could have an hour back to hold him in my arms again.

Like I said, from the day he was born I never been alone. He is the start of the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that I have not been perfect, but I love him with all my heart and soul.

Today we spent his birthday without Joe. We had beautiful day. We went to the mall and hung out. We bought video games, shirts, and hats. Then we ate at Cinnamunster. After that he had a doctor appointment with the eye doctor. They checked his eye for damage from the tennis ball. Everything was good. The doctor wrote him a prescription for glasses and we were off.

We went to play laser tag at Laser Quest. We had a blast. I ranked higher than the kids. I was ranked 17th, Logan ranked 27th just one higher than little Joey. Taylor ranked 25th.

Then we went to Buffalo Wild Wings. It was a wonderful day. I hope that all birthdays were this good. I wish Joe was there but I doubt he would have enjoyed the day like we did.

Looking at the clock, it is 11 til midnight and Logan birthday will be over. I still in shock that he is 15. It was 15 for me that went so terribly wrong. I hope that Logan has an easier time. I pray that I do a better job than my parents.

New Joey Sayings Part 2

This child never quits. When he is talking something funny is coming out of it. Here are the latest.

1. Mommy I changed my name to Joey Johnson because it rhymes.

2. Yo Yo Yo

3. My butt is soft mom.

4. Byouyah, Baby.

5. LOL......amigos(not sure where he got that one).

6. Two place is good.

Bill Cosby was RIGHT

In the great and wise words of Bill Cosby.......children are brain damaged. My kids are loaded with it.

It snowed between 6 to 9 inches(multiple news stations have multiple stories). So I have been trapped in the house with these three brain damaged children. You think that it would be a great time. Like a three day weekend. Heck No.

I have one child who cannot function unless you turn his video game off. AND I just spent 60 dollars to get his electric guitar fixed. Which he bugged the crap out of me for two weeks to pick the thing up.

Then there is my darling daughter. She thinks that she is my little commander. She keeps me informed about everything that happens in the house. I when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING......Joey picked his nose and whipped it on the dog. Logan is still playing video games and I think he is farting and enjoying it. I think this child would tattle on herself if she thought she would get a leg up in the family.

Then there is Joey. He is so cute and adorable. But he will ask you the same question until your head explodes. Mommy can I have a snack...Mommy can I have a snack...Mommy can I have a snack...Mommy can I have a snack...Mommy can I have a snack...Mommy can I have a snack...He never fully lets your brain process the question.

I believe that I could write birth control commericals . Or possibly single-handly spot teenage pregnancy. I should become and inspriational speaker.

No one told me what I was signing up for when I had them. I never said.....Gee I should have three kids who do not listen, pick up after themselves, and gets along. As a bonus I think they should all forget to brush their teeth and never can firgure out how to to put a dish in the dishwasher.

Do not get me wrong.....I love my kids to pieces. But I think I want to shoot them in the face with a bazooka.

And now I am snowed in with these people.

Joeyism.....his soon to be famous quotes.

Joey is notorious for saying the funniest thing.....he is my muse. Here are few quotes from my future philosopher.

1. That sucks butt.

2. I don't know I can't read the words.

3. Is Nesta with Martin Luther King and George Washington?

4. Shake my money maker.....shake what you mom gave you.

5. Your gay Logan.

6. Mom, Taylor cursed. She said the "S" word. She said stupid.

7. I like my shoes on the wrong feet.

8. I don't know how to do it mommy, I am just a kid.

9. My tooth fell out, now I am 6.

10. Logan is a criminal, he needs to be arrested.

11. Dad won't let me tell him the truth about my feelings.

12. I am not arguing, I am sad.

13. I am sorry mom, I can't stop crying.

14. Taa-wer

15. No-gan

Who Killed Romance.....Oh Yeah Movies

Well I just finished watching Runaway Bride while Joe was sleeping. I love movies. Of course I love chick flicks the most. It makes you feel all warm inside. Then there is a cold realization that life is not like that and hits you hard. You end up mad at your poor husband who truthfully has not done anything wrong.

Why are women likes this, or at least why and I like this.....THE MOVIES.

I wonder sometimes if I had never watched some flaky romance movie would my relationship be different. Would I still hold my husband to a standard that he could not possibly achieve.

I remember my first one. It was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I loved that movie. It had two things that I loved dearly when I was young, dancing and guys. And the movie ended happily ever after.

I watched that movie over and over until my parents were ready to throw the tape out the window.

The next movie that had a profound effect on me was Dirty Dancing. Once again had my two favorites things in it.

These movies and many others set my up for a false sense of what relationships are all about.
and 20 years later I am still mooning over the movies and wonder what exactly draws me to these movies. It cannot be dancing and guys. Although I still like dancing. I just do not have time to dance anymore.

I think that every woman wants to feel like they are the most special thing to the man they love pretty much all the time. Or maybe that is just me. Maybe that is what I want.

I think a large part is to feel exactly what that woman felt when the man sweeps her off her feet.

I sometimes feel bad for my husband because I want him to be this way and he is rational and thinks it is stupid.

Sometime I wish he would meet me halfway.

Sometimes I think it is best not to let Taylor to watch romance movies. I do not want her to have some false sense of reality when she walks into a relationship.

In light of this, I would post the top ten movies that ruin woman expectations of men when it comes to romance.

10. Runway Bride
9. Ten Things I Hate About You
8. Titanic
7. A Walk in the Clouds
6. Pretty Woman
5. Ghost
4. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
3. Dirty Dancing
2. Brokeback Mountain
1. The Notebook

Mommy your fat....don't be mad

Well I found a WII Fit at Stony Point Mall. I love that mall. It was were we first found the WII. I bought each of the kids new games so I could have my fun.

Joe was at a concert with the station so I had the whole place to my self. Logan set up the game for me. I was excited.

So I went through the body test. Well needless say I am overweight. Of course they do not account for my big boobs. Anyway they made my character chunky to match me.

Well the next morning, Joey commented on the fact that my MII was fat. He told me, "Mom, you know why your character is fat?"

"You will be mad."

"No Joey I will not be mad." I responded not really sure where he was going with it.

"Because your fat mommy," then he acted sad and like he told me something that I did not know.

I wanted to say well it was his fault. But I walked away.

Truly it is his fault sort of. It started when Taylor was almost two. I got pregnant but the pregnancy was doomed from the start. I had a hard time and had to have surgery. Well the doc told me that I might never be able to have another child due to scar tissue.

So I never went back on birth control hoping it would eventually happen. I tried not to think about it. After a year, I began to worry. I was a natural food store and asked the guy if he new of something that might help.

He told about progesterone cream. He said that it helped regulate your hormones and your ovulation. All I had to do was rub it on my wrist or stomach when I was on my period.

He left out on thing, it made you gain weight. It did. I gain 20 pounds during that time. But in November of 2002 when I was ready to give up I found out I was pregnant with Joey.

I have not been able to lose the weight that I gain due the cream. However I would do it all over again if I knew that it help me conceive Joey even though he told me that I was fat.

But I now have a plan to lose this weight.

Logan the Crimnal

Since the episode at Best Buy yesterday upset me so much, I contacted the company. I emailed various people and CCd the CEO.

To make a long story short, I got to go and switch out my television. Since Taylor was working on her project and Logan was playing guitar, Joe and I decided take along little Joey.

Well he chattered about multiple things and gave us his latest rendition of the alphabet song. The extended version.

So after we went and traded out the TV we drove to pick up something to eat. It was out of the back of the car a voice suddenly demanded that his big brother was a criminal.

Joe and I was floored. Little Joey started explaining to us that Logan beats him up all the time. That he is a criminal and needed to be arrested. He kept repeating that Logan belongs in jail and tried to convince Joe and I that Logan needed to be put away permantly.

He explained that Logan would push him and boss him around when we were away. The funniest thing was they way he said CRIMINAL.

Joey was not joking and certainly not backing down. At night he dreams that Logan is beating him up. My theory is that Logan probably pushed him around like normal brothers but I think he dreams the rest of it.

Of course Taylor is always sweet and nice to Joey. But Logan is evil.

I find it slightly hard to believe because that morning I had to almost Taylor and Joey off each other.

A Story of Customer Service and the Gerbil posted 2.25.2009 org.

The day started like any other day. I got up went to work.

About 2:30 I got a phone call from home. Logan never calls unless there is a problem. Well he informed me that our gerbil was dying. There is a back story to this gerbil.

First soon after adopting him Taylor picked him up by his tail and it broke. For two days he walked around with this bony tail. The bony part fell off. After that is brother tried to kill him. I had to take a day off of school to buy him a cage and nurse him back to health.

All the other gerbils we had died. Then one day the children left the cage open and he escaped. For one week we could not find him. One night the cat cornered him and held in one spot until Joe picked him up. He was missing a portion of his ear. They next day I thought he was going to die. But he bounced back.

After almost 4 years, Jeremy died today. So needless to say I was stressed.

I get home and tell my daughter and of course she falls apart. So I decided that we should get pizza at Pizza Hut.

On the way, I found the receipt for the my TV I bought from Best Buy in December. The TV had died the night before.

I spoke to a salesperson who worked for Best Buy who should never be made a one because she had the world's worst attitude. She sounded like the last place she wanted to be was at Best Buy. So she informed me that was not their problem because we should have bought the warranty. She had a total "I don't give a shit attitude". In my mine, there is a polite way to say that someone cannot help you.

So I got the phone and walked into Pizza Hut. I was already pissed. There were three people in the store. Not one person acknowledge me or said, "I'll be right there." Not one person looked up.

So after a few minutes I walked out. No one looked up or seemed to care.

This is my issue. With the economy as bad as it is, you would THINK that people would be genuinely happy to try to help you. For one because their company needs the revenue. And two because you need your job.

The last time I had a bad experience at Pizza Hut, it took me 5 years to order from them again. Now let's say I spend 20 dollars a week and they make 10 off me each time. Well that is 520 a year. 5,200 in 10 years. If they did this to 100 people that is 52,000 dollars in 10 years of revenue.

AND Best Buy I am even more disappointed in because I buy all my electronics there. Good customer service and they could have kept my business. Like I said before the economy is bad and competition is fierce. I hate to say it but next time I will go to Wal-Mart.

Nesta's Homecoming Posted 2.21.2009 org.

Nesta passed on 2.6.2009. She would have been 12 this spring. Since we live in an apartment we decided to have her cremated. I got a call on 2.18.2009 that she was ready. My heart sunk to know that she no longer a whole dog but a box full of ashes.

So we set out as family to pick her up. The crematory was on a side of Richmond I had only heard of, so with our trustee GPS friend we set out.

The place was in a small industrial building. Joe and I walked in. There was someone else picking up their pet. They left smiling. I thought to myself, that this cannot be that bad.

When it was our turn, we walked in and I began looking at Urns. Joe's face was red. I asked him if he wanted buy an URN. Part of me wanted a expensive engraved one. But I did not want to come back. The director showed me a plain black urn. I looked at Joe and he looked lost. So I told him that we would take it.

Joe went and got the kids out of the car. The director went to get urn that was available.

The director came in and showed me the urn. I definitely wanted it. Joe came in with the kids and he agreed as well.

We sat there while the director took the urn in the back to put Nesta in it. I still could not believe that she was only ashes. I sat with tears rolling down my face. Taylor was crying and Logan was completely silent.

The man brought her in and showed us the urn with Nesta. He explained the process so he could reassure us that this was Nesta. We finished the paperwork.

Joe carried her out office but we did not have the same look in our eyes that the previous people. We had tears streaming down our eyes.

I drove as fast as could. Joe sat and caressed the box as if she could feel it. Joey wanted to know where Nesta was, I told him I would explain it later.

We got home and ate lunch.

When I walked back in the room, I open the box with her urn. I pulled it out and hugged it. Then I opened it so I could stick my finger in and rub her bag of ashes. I cried again. Joe gave me her hair that he took from her the day she died.

All I could think about is that she now about the size they day Joe brought her home.

I went to the store and bought her a self. I wanted her to be in the living room where the family hangs out. I think that is where she wanted to be.

I finally sat down with Joey and explained to him that she was in heaven and how cremation worked.

Joey asked me if she was with Martin Luther King and George Washington. I told him yes. I sure they are feeding her french fries.