Joey Stories: The Legendary Home Invasion Incident

As a mother, nothing ever surprises me anymore.

It started out a normal day. I worked and on break I got the children from the bus.

I had a few errands to run during my break. So I went to the bank and had to take the little ones because Joe was at work. At the bank the nice teller offered my son a piece of candy. He choose a sucker. Pretty normal stuff.

So as he was walking to the car, I saw him drop the sucker and immediately pick it up and stick it in is his mouth. After that he looked at me to see if I had noticed.

Any mother, at any time will explode with anger after seeing this move. So I took hi back in the bank and asked the teller if we could have another one.

So fine. But now a little shiver of annoyance was starting to creep up my spine.

We get home and I am getting ready to unlock my door. When out of the corner of the eye it happens. My son fell into someone's apartment because he leaned on their door. I immediately yanked him out the person doorway and closed the door. I am not sure if the man even knew what happened, but I ushered my son in the house.

However now that shiver in my spine had now turned into full fledged tension. Good job Joey.

Questions that Instantly Irritate Parents

All of these questions has tendency of
spending a nagging pain down a mom's
spine. This is especially true if you have
a long day at work.


1. Mom, can you make him stop?

2. Mom, can I have a snack?

3. Mom, can I have a toy?

4. Mom, can you make him stop touching me?

5. Mom, why is he looking at me?

6. Mom, can you go to the store and buy me stuff for my project that is due tomorrow?

7. Mom, can my friend come over, because I already asked her?

8. Mom, I know you have been working all day and your hair is mess and you have circles under your eyes but can you meet my new friend's mom?

9. Mom, why did my brother (and/or sister) get more than I did?

10. Mom, can I watch SpongeBob again?

11. Mom, why.......? (This is especially annoying when you are told you are wrong after)

12. Mom, are you hiding from us again?

*Feel free to send me any question that irritates you. I will be happy to add it.

Added By Jaime......"one that annoys me is right when I walk in the door I get, mom what's for dinner, or mom is dinner ready yet."

Added By Stephanie....The setting: School Morning, 5am (coffee still perking)
"Mom, have you washed clothes. I have nothing to wear."

Joey Stories: The Legendary Crayon Incident

So my oldest son has been in trouble for many stupid things and some not so stupid. Logan has been suspended for shining lights in a kids eye. The laser was considered a weapon. He got in trouble for biting a child when he was six because the kid was picking his nose.......I know don't ask.

But my favorite was when he tried to break into a snack machine with a plastic fork. It was at that time Joe and I stopped pushing to get Logan in the honors programs. But this story is about Joey.

So today I get a call from the school. Having three children, for a split second I thought......Who did it? Okay I thought which boy did it.

So I answer the phone and there was a serious voice on the other end.......

"Is this Mrs. Rupp?"

"Yessssssss."

"I wanted to talk to you about your son." (Aha, knew it was one of the boys)

"Okay"

"I am the librarian at Three Chopt. I am concerned about your son Joey, there was an incident today in the library"

(.......oh no.........what did he do?) I thought.

"Mrs. Rupp, as long as known Joey, he has never acted out. So I was really shocked when he did today."

My heart dropped and I was praying it did not involve his private parts. AND he has been at this school for three weeks. Don't tell me he already has a reputation.

"Well, I caught him........breaking crayons."

"And".......okay I did not say that but I wanted too.

Actually I told her that Joe and I would certainly reinforce her punishment and sit down and speak with the lad.

Okay I did not say lad either. But it took all my power not to laugh.

This was a serous situation but I am not worried about him becoming a psychopath when he is a man.

So I made him write a letter of apology AND the librarian banned him from using crayons for the rest of the year.

I mean I know we are in a recession and schools are in need of money but I do not think there is a great crayon shortage.

"

Joey Stories: The Legendary Itchy Private Incident

I realized I have not blogged about my little turkey man in awhile. Man I have some funny stories about my little Joey. So I going to try to put them up on my blog.

First of all, let me explain something. I have three half sisters and two step sisters. There is not a boy in my immediate family but my dad. So having two boys has been a challenge.

Logan was pretty mellow. He was private little boy and always fairly inhibited when it came to his private parts.

Then my little Joey man came along, not only is he an exhibitionist, he is proud of the parts God gave him. In fact he is pretty fascinated by his privates.

Anyone with boys will tell you this is natural. Well I was still not prepared.

Not only is he proud of his parts, he never wears clothes. If we walked in the door anytime, he is in his underwear. My husband is constantly telling him......."son, put your clothes back on."

Not only does he walk around with in his underwear, he always has his hand on it.

So one day, I asked him......"Son, why is hand constantly on your private parts?"

He looked at me with the most serious face and said, "Mommy, it always itches." In fact, he looked at me like, jeez mom, I thought you would know.

Well I am not boy and lack those parts, so I am kinda lost. My husband proceeded to laugh at me because I thought he had a serious medical problem. Apparently I was informed that it was just an excuse.

I have many more Joey stories, but my mind is blank right now.

A Family Day: The Pumpkin Patch

Joe and I are always trying to find authentic things for the kids to experience. A lot times we especially look for things we enjoyed when we were children. Not my parents never took me to a pumpkin patch but I did go on a lot of hayrides with my church.

In fact the last hayride I was on ended with my step-dad running over my neighbor with the wagon portion. That was in 1992, do not worry the kid lived. That was the last time.

Now seventeen years after that day, I went on a hayride with my kids.

My kids had a blast. It was their first hayride. After the ride, which was free BTW, we took a wheel barrel out to the patch and pick out a pumpkin. Man Joey was like a kid in the candy store. Then there was a maze made out of haystacks.

The kids has a blast, now the real challenge, carving them without any permanent injuries.

How to Handle a PreTeen Little Girl Who is Starting Puberty:Phone Calls

Even though I was a teenage girl, I never thought of myself of as a normal teenage girl.

I have three sisters and a butt load little girlfriends but I find myself lost when it comes to my daughter. So I am going to share with everyone what I have learned thus far.

Lesson One:

One day out of know where I get a little girl voice asking me a question. I should have known at the time puberty was beginning but apparently I am not that bright. So I now realize this question was a signal, a sign of change, or maybe even a warning signal.

The question was........"Mommy can I call my friend?"

I had no idea what I just walked into at that moment. Because not only was that question a caution sign that puberty had reared its ugly face, it was also a question I was going to hear multiple times everyday and in my dreams at night.

Now we went from having one little girlfriend to call everyday to a huge list of girlfriends. No parenting manual could prepare me for what happened a few days ago. Somehow Taylor got it in her head that her little brother lost her list of phone numbers. In fact she thought he had thrown the list in the garbage.

It turned into a massive meltdown within minutes. She was hysterical and she was sobbing her little eyes out. I had no idea that these numbers were the key to my little girl's sanity. But apparently they were.

So after minutes of trying to figure out why my preteen was bawling hysterically I found the numbers. Crisis averted but lesson learned.

The cutest thing that my little social butterfly will do lately while she is on the phone is use speaker phone. So the house gets to hear the cute little conversations she has with her little friends.

Of course her daddy has now found this to be a great opportunity to tease her by making faces at her when she is talking on the phone. But his favorite thing to do it dance to the Miley Cryus while she is listening to her little stereo with her friend on the line. I mean I really did not know my little girl could roll her eyes that many times in a five minute span.

Homecoming Photos

Homecoming the Final Chapter

So all jokes aside.

My son had his first homecoming dance. I was mixed with all these unfamiliar motions.

When I was a teenager I was completely socially awkward (I know every one is shocked). I was never really taught social graces. I always felt really insecure. My high school years was a culmination of these feelings. I was never asked to homecoming, on dates, or to the prom. I spent my teenage years looking at people and just wishing I fit in. I would probably have been a better student and not dropped out had I not felt so out of place.

With that being said, every parent wants their child to accomplish more than they have in their life.

Logan, my oldest was born when I was seventeen. I swore that I would make his life better than mind.

As he got older, I realized he share a lot of my social awkwardness. I did not want him to take my path in life.

this year began his sophomore year in high school. A week before he went back to school, he started dating the cutest girl. She seems to be head over heals for my son. So she asked to him Homecoming.

I swear I was more nervous than they were. I took him shopping that morning to buy a suit. We came home and waited until it was time to go.

I drove him to his girlfriend's house and chatted with her mom. I finally left after several photos for my facebook page. When I left her house, I had tears in my eyes. I realized my little boy was growing into a man.

My mind raced with memories of the day he was born. I thought about the first time he walked and spoke my name. He was so little the day he started kindergarten. My baby was living a normal life doing normal teenage things. I think that our family finally broke the tradition.

Logan will be able to surpass me and grow into a normal person a lot faster than I did. I hope all of my children will grow into good people. I know Logan is on the right path.

I love my not-so-little little Logan.

Snacks....Snacks......Snacks

I love my children but something has to be said.........

Fact One:
Snacks are not a form of recreation. I promise you can find something do besides eat. You have a buttload of toys Santa brought last year.

Fact Two:
Snacks do not grow on trees. Well there is no gummy bear tree (I know I looked). If you eat it, no one will come and magically replace the snack. Snacks cost money, so make them last. I am not going back the grocery store in two days to replenish your stocks of goodies.

Fact Three:
People in third worlds country do not get three square meals a day. I am sure snacks are a luxury in most places. In fact I doubt they ask for a snack 15 minutes after dinner.

Fact Four:
This is most important fact of all. Your dad and I have our own snacks. DO NOT TOUCH them. Nothing brings groundings on like finding out all the snacks are gone, much less all the snacks that are hidden from you. Look you father and I work hard and we want our certain snacks or ice cream. We have standards in our snack choice. You are not allowed to have standards, you have "on sale" snacks.

Final Fact:
If you searching for a snack and cannot find either two things have happened.
A. You ate them all
B. Your mom was so mad that she bought no snacks

Homecoming.....Part 2

So I thought I would completely embarrass my oldest child because he ate all my ice cream last night. Rarely do I want a snack but the time I do my demon children usually has already inhaled it.

So this is for my Logi-Bear.

So the Homecoming Dance is coming upon us. I already have in my head all the things I have to do before Saturday.

1. Order the bouquet thingy for his girlfriend's arm

2. Take him to buy a new outfit

3. Clear out my camera for pictures

4. Look closely at my teenager to make sure he has proper hygiene

So him and I are sitting at his new high school waiting for his counselor. I thought I could check off number four from my list. So I glance at my son to survey his general appearance. First I notice the child is wearing dirty jeans. So I am already annoyed.

Let me give you a quick back story, Logan has one long hair on his chin. It is cute and amuses me and his father. He does not come from a long line of men with facial hair. His grandpa and his biological person has little facial hair. Now my husband can grow a beard like the bad guy can grow a mustache in the SpongeBob movie. Considering Logan does not share a genetic genes with Joe, Logan has always been jealous of the fact Joe can grow facial hair. He had a sneaky suspicion he would not be able to grow hair like Joe.

Back to my story, I look over at my son taking inventory of how he looks. Low and behold I see the cutest thing ever. On the side of his left cheek are hairs. They are cutest, longest cheek hairs I have ever seen.

So now our quandary is whether he should shave his two cheek hairs and one chin hair before Homecoming.......or should be go all natural.

The Homecoming Story....Part 1

So my teen boy who is SUPER smooth has his first REAL girlfriend. Man it is love. You know we have all been there.

So my son's girlfriend asked him if he wanted to go to Homecoming with her on October 11. Without thinking twice, he was like...YEP. (He doesn't like using words with more than one syllable)

Considering the boy has never been interested in school functions, I was slightly shocked.

So later that night we were talking about how we needed to prepare for Homecoming. Joe was talking to Logan about getting wrist bouquet for his girlfriend instead of flower thingy to pin to her chest.

I noticed this blank look on Logan's face.

I was like son, why are you confused. He responded, "I thought we were talking about the Homecoming football game."

So my brilliant son agreed to go to dance and he thought he agreed to go to a football game.

Fortunately he still wants to go, so he is going to Homecoming on Saturday.

I am sure he will do something else blog worthy.