The Most Embarrassing Moment of my Mommy Life

I am sitting here at Barnes and Nobles eating my Lucy's Gluten Free cookies and drinking a Carmel Machiato. Desperately trying to focus on my senior thesis but I am having no luck. So I must tell this story and get it out of my head before I can move on.

I am not the type of person who discusses my finances with anyone unless it is absolutely necessary. I think finances overall should be private. I most certainly do not discuss it with kids because I want them to have a time in their life when they are not worried about how bills are paid..

However I want them to value money, so I am constantly telling them how long someone who makes minimum wage would have to work to earn the toy or item they are requesting.

It utterly makes me nuts for them to leave lights on when it is easy way to conserve money and energy. My biggest irritation is the bathroom light that is left constantly and constantly telling them to shut it off.

 Somewhere during my nagging to turn off the lights and to close the refrigerator door when it is not in use was sending the wrong message.

HERE IS WHY I CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION.

Today around 4pm, I got a call from the school resource officer. Of course, you guessed it, it was Joey's school.

"Mrs. Rupp I want to let you know that Joey has been invited to participate in the Police and Friends program on Dec. 5th, " he said.

"Great, let grab a pen," I said naively thinking it was some type of program for creative kids or something.

He proceeded to tell me that Joey was selected to met and have breakfast with police officers in the county. Then after that Joey would be given a certain amount of cash for whatever he wanted. They asked that he bought clothes or shoes and then he could pick a toy for himself but they asked it not be a fake gun or knife. They wanted to insure that Joey had something under the tree for Christmas.

It took me a moment because I am slow like that and then the light bulb went on.

"Sir, can I ask you a question?" I responded.

He said, "Sure."

"Has been put in this program because someone thought that our family was impoverished," I used that word because truly I just hate people to think I am poor or uneducated.

There was a pause, "Well yes ma'am."

I rubbed my hand across my face as if to say, what in the heck are these children telling people.

"Sir, while your program sounds wonderful and I appreciate the thought but honestly I think there are other children out their who benefit much more. I would not just feel right letting Joey participate when it could go to someone more deserving."

The officer had a shocked tone in his voice, "well I appreciate your honesty."

"Sir my son will wear his play shoes to school sometimes or his play jeans, if I am not paying attention but he has almost everything he needs. While my husband and I are not comfortable, we are not on the edge of eviction either. We have planned for Christmas since July and a lot of Joey's Christmas is done," okay now I was just getting defensive.

He then told me the school counselor referred me. I told about the fire but that we did have insurance and promised we okay and he thank me and I thanked him and said our goodbyes.

I stormed out of the kitchen with a red face and turned into mommy hulk.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Now Joe was freaking out, we both looked at Joey. He stammered and said nothing mom. I have not talk to the lady since Me-Maw went to heaven.

So I ranted and raved for awhile to my boss, and then my awesome neighbors. I informed all the kids, that we were not poor we just gave them impression so they had low expectations(okay I did not say that but wanted to).

I decided to go to Barnes and Nobles to work on my paper, I walked into the living room and all the lights were off. I asked my daughter why they lights were off.

"Mom, we do not have the money to pay the electric bill," she responded.

I told her not to listen to me, turn the lights on I can afford the stupid power bill. I walked all through the house turning lights on, and even the bathroom light where no one was using it.