The End of Year ADULT Pool Party

Some stories just have to be told and this is one of them.

Let me start by giving you a back story. Every time one who has ever been to the pool know this one couple. They are notorious for being drunk........constantly. One particular incident led to the intoxicated man grabbing my noodle(my swim float), and putting it between his legs and riding it like a pony. Needless to say, the noodle was officially retired into the garbage on the way home and I fumed about for weeks.

So last night Honey Tree Apartments threw an end-of-the-year adult party. They went all out they hired belly dancers and TJ the DJ.

Now this party was a non-alcoholic party. However there was nothing to say that people could not drink before hand. The belly dancers got up and started their performance and it happened. The first intoxicated lady(who I am pretty sure had been drinking since the morning), got up and started dancing with the belly dancers. They looked a bit shocked. The girl was so smashed, she was dancing facing the wrong way and looking at herself in the glass doors behind her.

Finally the belly dancers finished up with requesting every one up on stage to dance with them. Now I am pretty comfortable with my self but I am completely sober, so that was not happening. A lot of people got up and it was cute.

Then it was time for TJ the DJ. He started spinning and then he started up the karaoke. First song sung......Sweet Home Alabama. Most of the people were not bad. We noticed that the drunk couple had been dancing provocatively randomly and they were getting a little hot and heavy.

Then it happened. Our former neighbor from the building with the fire, got up and asked us if we wanted to rock. Well of course and his response.......well it is not happening tonight.

Then he belted out a version of Under the Sea. The man sounded like Cookie Monster. It was truly the highlight of my night.

Quite a few more people got up and sang and the drunk inappropriate couple continued to randomly dance. I realized the drunk couple was the same couple who were always drunk at the pool and the man had put his privates on my noodle. They were both smashed.

And then it happened, the climax of the party. The lifeguard blew his whistle. He got up and walked around the pool because a woman in the pool was not responding. She was floating but not responding. He walked over to her side of the pool and blew the whistle. No response. He jumped in.

Apparently the woman had fell asleep or passed out, who knows. And he pulls her out of the pool. She is full of smiles. We are all watching in awe as the woman who came out of the pool was the same intoxicated woman who danced with the belly dancers and staring at herself. Apparently she was also good friends with the drunk couple.

Personally I think the three should sell their services as entertainment for adult parties.

Want to make your party a blast, call the drunk trio. They will act inappropriately and make every one uncomfortable, and send every one home with loads of laughs.

All and all it was fun. It was nice to get and have adult fun.

Logan and the Napkin

Well Friday night came and none of the children had plans. So they were all stuck with mommy. I decided to take the boys to get haircuts and get a few school supplies at Target. Knowing that taking all three children any where usually makes me literally insane. This particular night was particularity bad.

By the time we were done at Target I literally wanted to punch my husband square in the face. Not that he had done anything. Just because he was not there and he is my partner when it comes to dealing with them.

For some reason, they kids behave better when he is around. I have no idea why, because I have the biggest temper.

So knowing that I wanted to kill this man, he met us for dinner at Jason's Deli.

The first thing I saw on the counter was a Gluten Free sign, they now had GF bread. Finally my night was looking up. I ordered my sandwich(the first time in 6 months) and sat in anticipation.

About 15 minutes into the meal, it happened.

Let me frame this, some one in our house is always spilling something. I cannot tell you how many times Joey has dropped his drinks in various places in Richmond. Once when we went to the Richmond Flying Squirrels game, he dropped his hot dog and then I gave him mind because he was crying and he dropped mine.

He had already dropped his hot cocoa from Starbucks in Target. So I thought we had met our quota for the night.

I was wrong.

This time the guilty party was my daughter. She knocked over her almost full coke. The children had set at a different table on this glorious night because quite frankly I had enough of their faces.

So I look back and roll my eyes and told the teenager, who was vaguely staring at the mess waiting for to magically disappear, to go get napkins to clean up the mess.

Well the boy obvious did not notice the plural verbiage. So he trots back with one napkin. Yes that is right one napkin. If you did not get that, my 16 year old son ran and got one napkin to clean up an almost full glass of soda.

It was at that point that I looked at my husband and told him to look at the boy. His response, " the boy is going to live with us forever."

I had to know, "Logan why did you get one napkin?"

He shrugged and with his big puppy dog eyes and said, "I don't know."

It has now occurred to me that my husband is right. He is not moving out. Not because he has some infinite love for us and wants to stay with us,but because I do not think he would ever find his way out of parking lot. He would just drive around town wondering where his new place is located.

Logan and Joey: DS and Privates

Well it is quite obvious I should receive the award for the least mature parent of 2010.

I come in from Barnes and Nobles fuming because I was working on a paper and this group of people in the their golden years thought it necessary to sit next to me and use traditional means of conversing. I mean seriously who communicates without Facebook now a days. I digress.

So I walk in the door and the first thing my lovely husband says to me........"Ask me what your son did."

I fight the urge to run right back out the door and look at him and wonder which child did what. Logan was standing there with a proud look on his face.

So I bite," What did you do?"

Logan was never able to respond.

"Ask your son where he put Joey's DS"

No pause, " He put Joey's DS in his pants."

I immediately threw my hand over my mouth.

"Yeah, mom he stuck my DS on his penis and now it smells," Joey responded, "MOM, it is not funny, stop laughing."

I turned my head to where he could not see me and told him, " I am not laughing at that, I am laughing at something someone else told me the other day." (This is a classic line the kids have used on me many times)

It is at that time I looked up and see Logan was standing there. He was starting to realize I was too amused to punish him. Truly that is about the only way our children can escape trouble. Making us laugh is the valued asset in this house.

So with my hand over my mouth, I walked back to the room and started my lecture.

"LOGAN as a mom, I have to tell you that is horrible for you stick any of Joey's toys on your privates parts. But as an older sister.......hysterical."

"MOM", was the response from Joey in the background. "It is not funny that Logan put my DS on his nuts."

With that being said, it is air apparent I am least mature parent in the world. Sometimes I wonder who put me in charge in the first place.

Joey's First Crush.......Awwwww

So my little baby boy, one of the sweetest children, I know. Well my baby boy, has his first crush. If he knew I was blogging about it, he would be pouting in his room if she was not here.

So Taylor has slowly developed a wonderful friendship with a middle school girl named Sophie. Sophie and Taylor spend a great amount of time with each other. They are currently making a little horror movie for youtube.

Joe and I noticed that every time Sophie comes over, Joey suddenly has clothes on. We encourage our children to stay clothed but Joey has been anti-clothing since he was born. As soon as he learned how to dress himself, he learned how to undress himself. Many times when Joe and I get home with the kids from a family event, this child is suddenly in his underwear. Joe and I will barely have put our keys down and almost naked Joey is running around.

So we knew something was up when he started dressing himself under no duress.

Oh course, Joe and I are mature parents and asked the boy if he liked Sophie. Okay, okay it was more like.......Joey likes Sophie, Joey likes Sophie.

Which made him stomp out of the room.

Finally, we told Joey. "Look it is okay to think she is pretty."

He said to me with his arms crossed and his face pick, "OKAY I think she is pretty but I don't LOOOOOOVVVVVEEE her."

Many times over the next days, I heard a yell out of my little boy......"I don't lOOOOOVVVVEEEE her TAYLOR and/or LOGAN."

This is the price of being a Rupp.

So today Sophia came over so Logan can help her put strings on her new guitar. We noticed that not only had Joey put on clothes. It was not just the clothes he put on, it was the outfit he had chosen. He choose a pair of jeans(unzipped) and a sleeveless Ohio State shirt that shows his belly because it is 3 sizes to small. He looks like a little muscle builder from the 80s.

I cannot wait to blog about Logan and Taylor first crush.