Paging Dr. Huxtable

<b>Paging Dr. Huxtable</b>

Sunday, May 8, 2011

My Daughter is Superman

It is amazing the things our children take from us. My daughter gets a lot of her personailty from her father. They are two peas in a pod. One thing she did get from me is the idea woman should be equal on every level. She never likes to be told she cannot do things boys do.

I just found out the other day that when she played baseball last year, the umpire in Highland Springs told her that she should being playing softball with the girls and not little league with the boys. This infuriated her and she has had a chip on her shoulder every since.

This little league season she plays in the Major division with other 11 and 12 year old boys. She wants to fit it, she refuses to use her purple bat bag anymore. She hates when I baby her in front of the boys and will get cranky about.

But she has built a good relationship with the boys on her team.

Yesterday my daughter prove her toughness and earned the respect of the league. Her team, the Indians, were playing against the Mariners. She was playing second base. I was on the opposite of the field talking to a parent. The ball was hit and she was making a play on the ball when I saw her get ran over. The collision looked like she was hit by a freight train. Every inch of my soul wanted to jump over the fence and run to her and kiss her boo-boos. But I stayed put and waited to see how she would react. She stood up with tears in her eyes. The coaches ran out and everyone kinda held their breath. She got up with tears in her eyes and refused to come out of the game. I knew she was hurt,but I knew she was angry more than anything.

She stayed in the game and everyone clapped. When that was over, the umpire decided to call the kid out for running her over which peeved off the parents of the other team and their coach.

Finally the inning was over and she was first up. I went to check on her and she was shaken. I told her to calm down and get her head in the game. She got up and struck out.  She was not letting it go. I think she felt like he did because she was a girl.

The second inning there was a play and her teammate threw so hard it popped and hit her face. It hit her in the jaw. This time she came out of the game. I went over to talk to her and she was crying.

She was a wreck. I pulled out of the dug out and told her she needed to let the collision go and she needed to sit on the bench. It was obviously in her head and she was making mistakes that she would not make. I told her she was more of a danger to herself.

I went back on the other side of the field and tried not to hoover. She got up to bat and I held my breath. She got and put her bat up to bunt. Finally she made contact bunted the ball and advanced the runner. It was great. The confidence started coming back over her and she seemed calmer.

Then the next inning came and the ball was hit hard and took a crazy bounce and she jumped right in from of it. She fielded the play and threw it to first.

By the ended the game, the Indians were making a come back but fell short by two runs.

At the end of the game, her coach awarded her the game ball. This is not normally awarded unless the game was won.

She came off the field beaming. Everyone came up to her telling how great she did and how tough she was. One mom told me that she waiting for me to jump the fence and run out there. I told her that I wanted too.

She talked to a couple of the guys. The other team even asked if she was okay. Finally we got to the car and her team mate yelled her that, "Hey Taylor, I am not calling you that anymore. You are now Superman."

He flashed a little smile and got in the car.

Taylor looked at me and said, "Mom, it should be superwoman."

"Taylor, it means he thinks of you as an equal. Let him call you superman."

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Fighting Has Gone Too Far

So these last couple weeks have been a bit stressful and the kids sensing that thought they would step up the arguing.  They bickered over absolutely everything. It was just ridiculous. They even tattled via text me when I was out with my husband on date night  because they were told not to call to tattle.

So yesterday we took the family to have a picnic at Kings Dominion before going to the park for the day.

For the most part they were getting along. Well I had lost the KD passes and I think they recognized this was not the time to argue. Luckliy we got to Guest Services and they had found them in the park. So it was my children's cue to jump right on the arguing boat again since I was back to my cheery self. Well they argued over which side of the park we started on. They argued over the SpongeBob ride, which was closed when we got there.

But the tipping point of the day happened on the Intimidator 305. First of all, this ride scares the living crap out of me. It is set to the theme of Dale Earnhardt. There is country music blaring in the background and the ride begins with, "Gentlemen Start Your Engines." These are not the last words I want to hear at the end of my life. The thing does even slowly ascend to the top, it goes up pretty quickly an down much faster. I rode it once last season and that was good enough. I got off of it shaking and light headed. Supposedly they sped the dang thing up, so it is worse this year.

So of course, Logan wanted to ride it. He asked Taylor to ride it and off they went. Taylor and Logan has rode it many times before, so fear was not a factor with them. It was with me. They were even getting along without being told to be nice to each other.

Five minutes later they come stomping back and yelling at each other. They got up to the line and Taylor decided at the last moment that she did not want to ride. She informed Logan she would just walk back alone to find us. That is a big no-no in our house and Logan would have got in trouble if he let her walk away. No one travels alone in the Rupp family.

So Logan is mad, Taylor is getting teary eyed and they both start making their case. Like Bill Cosby, I do not care about who is right or justice, I care about QUIET.

So I informed Logan I would ride the Volcano with him. I like the Volcano, it is not nearly as intense as the Intimidator. We walked over there together. Logan once again was making his case to me and I was blocking it out. The Volcano's line was ridiculous and long. So FINE,I told him that we go on the stupid Intimidator and I WAS NOT happy about.

So I stomped over there like a big baby and tried to talk him out it. He told me that really does not want to ride by himself and that makes him feel bad. So DAMN now I was going to ride the stupid ride and I was not in the mindset to ride this beast.

I got on the stupid thing and informed Logan he was grounded for making me ride this stupid thing when I was not ready. Then when the evil southern voice came over the intercom that said gentlemen start your engines, I grounded Taylor.

As we went up the 305 foot hill, I grounded the other passengers, the ride operators, and the architects who dreamt up such a crazy ride. Then we went over the hill and I could not ground anyone else because I was screaming so loud I could not hear myself think. At one point, I went around one of the twisted corners and everything started going brown. All I could think of was, "great the blood had left my eyeballs."

Finally the ride was over and we sitting in the thingy waiting to be unloaded and Logan looked at me and asked me if I was okay.

All I could muster, "You are really grounded until I am not mad anymore."

I got off the ride shaking. The stupid thing was faster than last year. I was boiling mad. I was so peeved that I had to ride something to deal with an argument between these children, I bought a key chain to remind myself what sibling rivalry will lead me to do to maintain peace.

When I saw Joe, I grounded him for knowing them.

The irritating thing after that was they still would not speak to each other for the next hour. So I made them sit by each other on the next ride.

We are home, all is good and the children are not grounded today. But the night is young and I can remind myself at any moment why I was mad yesterday.


Here is the link to the wikipedia page of this beast: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimidator_305

Friday, April 1, 2011

Look What You Did

My husband and I are definitely animal people. We have loved every last one of our pets,okay well this was this one hamster we had that hated us. We, like many pet owners, have great stories about their pets. So I thought I would share a funny one that today.

My cat Barkley, is a black kitty cat who seems to be deeply annoyed by everyone. His persona is arrogant and really does not want to be bother by us. But he is just so darn cute, I want to cuddle with his face. I tell myself that he loves me but I really think he tolerates me.

My husband has come with this voice and personality that is a cross between Stewie Griffin and Pepie Le Pew. Recently, he launched his own Twitter page, FelinePimp.

He has always been a bad kitty when it comes to food. I have found him in the cabinet many, many times trying to get into the cat and/or dog food.

Recently, we bought a container that we thought he was unable to get in. It is a plastic container with a lid. The thing has a spout-type thing that you open and the food is poured out.

Now I have found it many times knocked over but Barkley had not figured out how to get in it until this morning.

So I was sitting on the couch watching Drake and Josh(don't judge me). When I heard a crash. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a black kitty run under the table. I went to investigate what my little kitty got into this time.

I found the cabinet opened and the food container with no lid. I looked around for it and nothing. Then I had an AHA moment and decided to look under the table. I got on my hands and knees and what did I find. I found a bad kitty cat.

I immediately burst into laughter. My oldest child ran into the dining area to investigate what had made mommy laugh so hysterical. He too got on his hands and knees a found something truly funny.

I had found my kitty with the lid of his food container around his waist. He was futaly trying to free himself from this contraption. So I continued laughing as I fumbled for my camera. He just laid there looking embarrassed and helpless as I snapped pics of him.

Once I got a good pic, I freed my little cranky cat and he ran off. He sat in the hall and looked back at me as if you say, "I am not sure how but I know this is your fault."  He then laid down and licked his tummy.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Turn it Up Mom

First practice of the little league season and we are all on our way to the field. I am in a good mood. Joey is on the Red Sox this year and his coach is great. Joe and I are talking in the front seat about the upcoming season. We are not really paying attention to the radio or the kids.

Suddenly from the back seat I hear, "Turn it up mom."

Without really thinking about it I turned the volume up on the dial. And on the radio one of my old favorites is on.....Girls Just Want To Have Fun.

Now the funny part of the whole story was not the song but which child asked for me to turn it up. The voice from the back came from my youngest son. Apparently it was his jam.

When Joe and I realized what song it was and when the reality hit our brains that Joey had asked us to turn this song up we were speechless. Joe had this look on his face and I just burst out laughing. I laughed until I had tears in my eyes.

Realizing the oddness of his request, he stammered for a second and informed us that he liked the song because it was on Sing Star and it was Taylor fault.

Maybe it is not that funny, but the timing was great and I needed a good laugh.

Monday, March 7, 2011

A Normal Conversation

Let me set the stage for a normal night at our house. I would love to tell you about one certain instance, but it usually happens a couple times a week.

Joey standing in the middle of the room saying something outrageous and acting completely dramatic.

I look at Joe and tell him the classic, "that is your child."

He looks at me and states, "then why does he act like you. That is your child."

Little Joey gets fustrated and puts his hands on his hips and responds, "Guys you are both my PARENT."

And storms out of the room.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dinner Conversations: Logan's Confession

Dinner time is always a time for us to sit down as a family and catch up. Tonight Joe was working, so it was just the kids and myself.

I am not exactly sure how the conversation led to this, oh wait I do, we were talking about Power Rangers. Logan was obsessed with Power Rangers when he was little.  He was so cute the way he use to say Power Rangers. It was a horrible show, but I watched it with him because I liked to know what the kids are being exposed to on television.

Well this led to a confession from the teenager.

"Mom, when I was a kid I use to think you kidnapped me," Logan said to me.

I just stared at him blankly. I had no words at the moment and that is hard to accomplish.

"What?"

"Yeah when I was a kid, I remember staying at this house and it was big house. Well you came and picked me up and took me to your house. I thought you kidnapped me," he responded.

Once again I just stared at him. He head could not wrap around this announcement.

Eventually I asked him if he was scared, he told me that he wasn't but wondered about the woman he thought was his mother.

I began thinking how crazy this was but I am also the one who thought when I was little that when I slept a monster came into my room and moved me and that was why I never woke up in the same spot. Plus I thought that when a woman had a baby her belly opened up from the belly button and the baby came out like there was a little elevator in there.

So guess it is not crazy that he thought I kidnapped him.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Cat School

Barkley, my cat, is a notorious pain in the butt. He does little things that drives everyone crazy. Generally, he is not affection and tends to look like he is being tortured if anyone tries to cuddle with him. But he is just so darn cute.

We have five chairs at the table, if one person does not sit quickly enough they will find my little black feline waiting for his own portions of the family meal. He is notorious in the house for snatching a steak or two when we took our eyes off of him.

So today he was fighting with Joe's cat. He tends to do this a lot but mainly when I am sleeping. Joe noticed him wiggle his little butt get ready to pounce on Chauncey.

He looked at me informed me that he was not the brightest cat in the world. Of course, as much as the cat seems to dislike me, he is still my cat so I rushed to his defense.

I informed Joe that he was a smart kitty and sweet(I was totally lying). Joe looked at me like I had lost my mind. We went back and fourth for a few minutes.

Taking his father's side, from the corner of the room Joey pops out with, "Mom, Barkley has never been to Cat School mom, he can't hold a pencil."

I guess he told me.

Monday, February 7, 2011

My Tantrum

I love blogging about my kids and the silly things they say and do. I find it entertaining and I think there is definitely an audience out there for silly kids stories. Plus with my memory, I need something I can look back and laugh at when they are in college.

I would be hypocritical if I did not share my own nutty moments as a parent. This one tonight was a big one and my children informed me I had to blog about because it is only fair. 

So Taylor and I are hitting the studying big time. She has two big tests on Wednesday, so we hit the ground running today. We started with Social Studies because that is my FAVORITE and considering I have a Master of Arts in Public Policy, there should be nothing I am not somewhat familiar with for the most part.

So we are in it, talking about Jamestown, the Contenintal Congress, Thomas Jefferson, and even some minor geography questions. 

We get to a section that wants Taylor to separate the rivers and the world oceans. Of course, I got this. I know that the Atlantic, Indian, and Artic are oceans. I am completely aware of the Rio Grande, the Mississippi and the Ohio are rivers.  Then we hit something I had never in my lifetime seen, the Southern. I automatically assumed it was a river because I just knew it was not an ocean. My daughter informed me that I was wrong, that the Southern was an actual ocean.

Now I wanted to argue and we went back and forth for five minutes. So I made my daughter google it. She read on google that..."the Southern Ocean was discovered......blah, blah, blah." I was incensed. Obviously if there was the alleged Southern Ocean, it was not "DISCOVERED" it was sectioned off and renamed it/ When did this happen? Was there a press release? I mean I went to college in from 2003 to 2007 at the great University of Florida and then 2009 to 2010 at New England College. How in the world was I unaware of this ocean?

It escalated after this  and there was me(an adult) arguing with Taylor that thing was not discovered it was renamed. Then suddenly Joey came out of his room with a study guide with the word Southern Ocean on it and joined the argument. Then Logan came out to join the chaos. My kids were just so excited their know-it-all mother was unaware of something.

After a few minutes of all four of us going back and forth, Joe tried to calm me down. He was enjoying this a lot. I was now getting angry. I started yelling that nothing was discovered, everyone knew the earth was round and the moon controlled the tides. No one suddenly discovered this piece of ocean that remained unseen by all humans since the invention of the satellite. I stomped through the house like a big baby and threaten to ground anyone who said the word discovered......Joe included.

Not my finest moment.

I did feel better later, I text two of my closest friends and they had never heard of this Southern Ocean. Both absolutely agreed it was not "discovered."

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Joey: The Hot Dog Story

My son is a hot dog addict. He always has been from the time I cut up little hot dogs for him when he was a little guy until now when he orders hot dogs every last time we go out to eat.

He asked for corn dogs for lunch today. So after he finished up his favorite meal, he asked me an unexpected question.

"Mom, are hot dogs and corn dogs made out of dogs??"

Everyone kinda stopped for a second and just looked at him. "What did he say?" my husband responded.

"He just asked me if his hot dogs were made out of dogs."

I explained to my doe-eyed child that of course they were not made out of dogs.Then I asked the obvious question.

"Who told you that?"

"Taylor," he said kicking his sister directly under the bus.

All eyes turned to Taylor. And of course she denied it. So for two minutes we went back and forth arguing over who did or did not say what to Joey.

Joey looked at me and informed me that he cried when he found out.

There was only one thing left to find out.

"Joey, why if you thought they were made out of dogs, did you still eat the hot dogs?" I asked.

"Because mom they are yummy."

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Joey's Question

The family was sitting around playing videos games last night. We were playing the new Donkey Kong Returns when my husband decided to keep me in the loop about the kids conversations of the day. It started a little like this.....

Guess what Joey said..........

That is usually the way it starts.

Joe went on with his explanation. Apparently Logan told Joey that women got their periods once a month. I was told to ask Joey what he said next.

Alright, I will bite, "what did you say?"

Joey turned all red and tried to hide behind daddy.

"Mom, I just wanted to know how many times a month mens got their periods," he said looking all embarrassed.

Truly this boy is comedy gold, I think he is most likely the one of my kids to end up on youtube. Too bad he does not have a little bother named Charile who bites fingers.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Dinner Conversations: Awe the Innocence of Little Ones

Dinner time is always a bonding time for us, it is the one place that we all stop and try to talk about our lives. Every night we always take the time to talk about the kids day at school. Joey's stories usually consist of stories about the playground drama.

Today Taylor was discussing her schedule next year. She excited because she can take yearbook, journalism, or a foreign language. She was so focused and of course I wanted her to take the journalism.

After the youngest ones finished their stories, our attention moved to the teenager. He rambling about this and that. He then started talking about his friend. There is always one kid you do not want your kid to hang out with, well this was one of them. Logan was telling us how this kid had started smoking and how he thinks it is soooo cool.

Joey piped up with, "What does he think........does he think he is a dragon, Logan?"

Joe and I just looked at each other and started laughing. Logan and Taylor looked at him like he had worms crawling out of his eyeballs.

Ah, the innocence of the little ones.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Taylor VS. Glenn Beck

I trully believe most Americans are pretty moderate. Our family is pretty much in the middle about most things. One thing my husband go back and forth about the extremes of both parties. Sometimes when you are mid-rant, you forget that your children are listening. Seriously, they never pay attention to other things you say like......brush your hair, turn off the light, flush the toilet. You know things you actually directly tell them.

So I was a little shocked when this event happened.

Taylor, Joey and I had went to see MegaMind in 3D. I always get there early, because that is how I am. I hate to be late for movies. I want to see ALL the previews. We were at Regal in Richmond sitting and waiting. They were playing promos and low and behold Glenn Beck face popped up in a promo ad. The voice guy said........"America is Broke, Glenn Beck is going to fix it."

In the complete silence of the theater, my daughter said in a thunderous tone......."YEAH RIGHT."

Everyone heard her. I leaned over and informed that she was not burning her training bras or going on silent protest. Okay I might consider a silent protest.

There is are moments when you are parent that you are so proud. First days of kindergarten, graduations, honor roll.......for me the it was it was at the movie theater waiting for MegaMind.


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Logan the American Citizen....well maybe

I was out shopping with my friend at Old Navy when I got a call from home. Logan wanted to go get an application from Subway next door. I told him to ask his father, he informed me that he was not home. I told him to wait and ask him.

Later I received a text from my husband that said we had failed our son.

"Why?"

"He did not know our address, phone number, AND if he was legally allowed to be employed in the United States."

I could not even respond. Yep, we had failed him.

"Then he wanted to know if it was better to fill it out with a pencil.......a PENCIL......Yeah."

"Oh dear Lord," was all I could say.

Later when got home, Joe told me that he was going to live with us forever because the boy did not even know if he was an American citizen.

Mr. Skipper: A Logan Story

I know that my teenager is going to screw up. I know he is going to test the boundaries. I accept that and expect it. But I would like to think that the child will at least have some common sense a long the way and try not to get caught. Apparently my expectations were slightly high. This is my own fault considering he tried to break into a snack machine with a plastic fork.

So Friday, Logan had asked to have his girlfriend over. That is fine, she is a sweet girl and Logan had been good.

About 10am that morning I got an email from his teacher. Great, I dreaded opening it. My instincts were right.

"Logan skipped my class yesterday. I referred him for administrative discipline. Please address this at home."

Now I skipped many times when I was a teenager. But I am a hypocrite and I thrive on it. I had all day to consider out my punishment strategy.

He got home and I was outside, when I came in he and his girlfriend was sitting down looking at me with a look off anticipation.

"Mom, I know you know what I did," Logan told me.

Trying to control myself, "Alright, what happened."

"Lunch was over and I was in the gym with my friends. We were playing two-on-two and when the bell rang I had to stay because then it would be an uneven number. So I stayed and played basketball and my teacher's assistant for that class walked by the gym and I waved and smiled."

I looked at Logan's girlfriend and said matter-of-factly, "You are dating the dumbest guy at Freeman."

She shook her head and said, "I know."

"You're lucky your father is not here to deal with this, go into the other room so I can think about your punishment. Oh and why did you skip study call, aren't you behind?"

"We are not suppose to work on that classes work there," now I know he is lying.

So I calmed down and text my friends who had been waiting to find out what class her skipped. I came up with his punishment.

I walked back to where he was, "Here is the deal, you have a choice. You can give up your XBox until you serve your detention at school OR I can take your girlfriend home and you will not be allowed to see her until your detention is served. Your choice."

"Well of course, I will take the XBox suspension."

"Remember, it is suppose to snow Tuesday(his day of detention) and you are going to be stuck in the house without video game privileges."

"I know, I will still give up the XBox."

So that was his punishment, later that night I was dropping his girlfriend off and I was telling her mom all about it.  Out of the corner of the room, her husband said, "I know two other woman in this room who skipped a few classes in their date."

I said, "This is true, but my middle name is hypocrite."

Dumbest Thing I Have Ever Said

Any parent who has a child or multiple children knows the general frustrations of being a parent. Sometimes the things they do infuriates a parent so much they can barely speak.

With me, most of the time it is their names. I am yelling and for the life of me, I cannot remember what I named this child who done this dumb thing.  But there are times that you are so mad, you say something so dumb you want to ask for the money back from the college you attended. Obviously you were overcharged.

That incident happened to me the other night. My husband was in Florida and I was left at home with these three children. Of course, it is at that time that they decided it was necessary to argue with each other......constantly. The only time they stopped was when they were sleeping or........nope sleeping was pretty much it.

Joey took his nightly bath, which gave  me a few minutes of peace and quiet.

Suddenly I hear arguing, this time it is Logan and Joey. I am trying to pretend like I do not hear anything. That is my usual tactic. Then Logan rushed in the room, with the baby behind begging him not to tell.

"Mom, Joey has been stuffing a rag in the drain, so he can take a bath."

Now the one thing that will instantly peeve off a parent is the destruction of the house and/or furniture. He apparently was wedging it deep in the drain and it was almost unreachable. Logan had pulled out and ran to tell me of his discovery.

Then I could hear Joey tell me from behind Logan......"NO, NO." I knew he was lying.

Blind fury hit me at that moment and it slipped out of my mouth before I could put it back in there.

"If you ever do that again.......I will spank your face."

Oh wow, that did not make sense. Plus I never ever hit my children in the face. Generally I am not a fan of spanking. So the fact I would even threaten something that was absurd was out of my character. But the verbiage alone, made he kids look at me like I lost my mind.

Realizing I had said something so dumb, I tried to save face. If I started laughing Joey might have seen that as an opportunity to do it again. So I said something dumb to follow it up.

"Don't ever take a bath again in my house while your living with me again," was my response.

He looked at me and ran into the room trying to avoid anymore punishment.


Later that night I was telling my husband and he just started laughing. "The kids are making you crazy, aren't they?

"You think."

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2011's New Years Resolutions

Well I generally don't make resolutions because I tend to forget day-to-day what my resolutions are for any given year. So I thought I would blog, so I can at least remember them.

1. Cook one new dish a week.

2. Get organized in every faucet of my life

3. Manage my time better

4. Spend more time on my blog and less time on facebook

5. Spend more time texting, emailing, or calling my friends.

6. Exercise more and eat healthy

7. Find balance in my life

8. Control my temper and try to redirect my energy

9. Spend more quality time with the kiddos

10. Spend more time listening instead of talking