Joey and his New Hair

It has come abundantly clear since I started writing my blog that if I ever managed to put a book together and actually have it published, I am going to have to pay Joey the largest amount of royalties.

So today started out as a productive day. I went to Barnes and Nobles and spent two hours working on my classwork. I came home grabbed Logan and we had a productive lunch. We set goals for his behavior. I was feeling like a super smart mommy.

I came home and was hanging with the husband when we got some terrible news. Needless to say, it cast a shadow over the day.

But leave it to Joey to do something so outrageous so we all ended up smiling and laughing again.

I let all the kids go outside and play on the playground. Joe and I really just needed some quiet. We decided we all needed some family time when the kids got back. So we planned to go out for dinner.

Joey was the first one to come in the house to check in so, I told to him to go get his brother and sister that it was time to go out to eat.

He ran out, not acting in any way suspicious. Within in minutes, Logan barreled in the house. He wanted to know if we knew about what Joey did. I told him he had to be more specfic.

"Did you guys know that Joey cut his hair?"

No, neither of us had any idea. We really try not to make direct eye contact with the kids because they usually just ask for stuff.

At that moment Joey walked in the door. Of course, I inquired about his hair and really took a good look at the child. I noticed that he had no bangs in the front of his hair.

"Did you cut your hair Joey?"

"Yes, two weeks ago. Like it was this summer," he responded quickly. I think he was trying to confuse me.

At that time Taylor chimed in and it became a arguement of when Joey did what and with what.

So this is what I derived, Joey in the last two weeks has been gradually cutting the front part of his hair. The scissors were stashed under the bathroom and the two older children had seen them on the sink on and off for a couple of weeks.

Now I realized that little Joey is a little genius. First of all he did it gradually, so I would not noticed. And it worked. Secondly he almost got away with it because of this next part.

All three of my children loves tattling. For them it is a hobby in which they have turned into art. So Joey knowing this took preventive measures.

It was Logan's friend who first noticed that the child had whacked off his hair in the front, his full forehead exposed. I assumed the child realized he was busted. So this child being the genius that he is told Logan he was going upstairs to confess. This was the time he actually walked in the house and apparently the whole checking in with us was part of this act.

When he went back downstairs he told Logan and Taylor that he confessed to us and he was grounded for two weeks. He then told them it was time to go home because we were having a family time. Unfortunately for Joey, Logan and Taylor saw gold and they had to double check and make sure we knew. I think they both almost tripped over getting up the stairs to make sure the child was grounded and all knew of Joey's crime.

So in the end even though Joey came up with a great plan, his siblings shoved him under the bus face first, or dare I say hair first.

Joey: And The Amazing Barkley

Yep you got it, another about poor Barkley.

Most people know that I am not a morning person at all. The two oldest are definitely not either. However Joey wakes up with a smile on his face every morning and Saturday is no exception. Most of the time if we are asleep he will crawl on the couch and watch Spongebob until we get up.

It was about 830am last Saturday. I was laying there cursing the fact I was awake and wanted to sleep in. I heard something and I got up to investigate the noise. I opened the door and saw Joey laying the couch watching cartoons.

"Are you okay, buddy," I asked.

"Yes mommy, I am watching Spongebob," he said in his sleepy little voice.

"I am going to lay down for a few more minutes. Watch cartoons and I will be up soon."

"Okay mommy."

I looked down and Barkley was whining to get into Logan's room. So I opened the door for him and he ran in there.

I laid back down telling myself that Joey is seven and able to be left in the living room. In the middle of my justification, I heard this loud kitty scream right outside my door.

I flew out of bed and opened the door and there Joey stood looking guilty.

I asked, "What happened?'

"Mom, Barkley closed his tail in the door," he said super quickly.

"What?"

I could see the wheels turning in his head. Was mom going to buy it? Guess not, I should change my story.

"It was an accidennnttttt."

So I grabbed the cat and he seemed fine, annoyed but fine. I put him down and he ran away.

Then I looked at Joey again and did not say a word.

"Mom it was an accident."

A thousand questions went through my mind. Why was this child in the hall? Did I not just tell this child to stay on the couch and watch Spongebob? Why in the heck am I up this early?

And the anger started to build.

I looked at him and snapped, "Go lay down on the couch. "

I went back to bed cursing. Too mad to sleep, I finally got up and went into the living room.

Later that week we were discussing his lying problem and I reminded him of the fact that he lied to me about Barkley.

He looked at me without hesitation said, "No I didn't"

Joey's Story: The Cup

There are not many times when inspiration strikes or my children will do something funny that I debate on whether I should blog about it. Most of the time, I feel I must share a story. This particular one I have debated and debated. Finally I decided, I must share it.

Most people who know my youngest son knows that he is proud of his "parts", which I come to believe is normal as long as he knows not to show his "parts" off in public.

I do not share a bathroom with children, nor do I want to. All three are constantly arguing over flushing the toilet, apparently no one does but yet everyone does it. Not to mention, I think Taylor might kill one of the boys if they do not start lifting toilet seat.

Logan wanted to take a shower on Thursday, which is awesome. We encourage our children to shower, in fact we pretty much demand it. When one of our children wants to take a shower, we celebrate, especially the teenager.

SO Logan went to take a shower(on his own accord), and he came in the living room with a 32 oz Iron Man plastic cup. The conversation went a little like this:

"Mom, I think Joey peed in this cup."

"what??"

"I think Joey peed in the cup."

"what???" My brain was not processing this.

I got up and walked over to my oldest child and looked down in the cup. I then looked at Joey.

"NO." Joey responded.

I then gave him that do not lie to me look.

"Did you"?"

"Yes"

Then the next couple minutes were a little fuzzy because I was blinded by the fury within.

What ever I said or yelled in the next couple of minutes, I have no memory of. I just remember Joey sitting and crying on his bed.

For the next 15 minutes, almost everyone in the house sat quietly. I am not sure but I might have actually turned into the Hulk and my family was hoping that I turned from a green monster back to my everyday self.

So after the anger calmed, my husband walked into Joey's room. Two minutes later he walked out, with a look of confusion on his face.

"Joey told me that Logan did not flush the toilet two days ago, so he did not want the toilet to overflow. So he peed in the cup and left it by the shower."

With the fury rising again, " He is lying" was my only response. My husband just kept silent.

Later when I was calmer and tired of hearing Joey scream from his bed, "can I get up", I approached this child.

"Why did you pee in the cup joey?"

"I don't know?"

"Joey every one knows why they do something, no matter the reason, you know why you did what you did. Why did you pee in the cup?"

"I don't know?"

So I left the room due to the fear that I might turn into crazy mommy hulk.

Later that day, Joe took Joey to the store with him. I think he took because he was a little afraid of me at the time.

This incident is far beyond my reasoning. I have three sisters, maybe I am not use to boys. But Logan is 16, he has always been so private. He would not even urinate in the woods when were out and about when he was 4. It is hard for me to wrap my head around peeing in a cup and leaving beside the bathtub for two days. And I really do not think I want to know the real reason he did what he did. Maybe one day when he goes off to college he will shed some light on the situation. Maybe just maybe I will not be mad about it by that time. MAYBE

Logan and Joey: DS and Privates

Well it is quite obvious I should receive the award for the least mature parent of 2010.

I come in from Barnes and Nobles fuming because I was working on a paper and this group of people in the their golden years thought it necessary to sit next to me and use traditional means of conversing. I mean seriously who communicates without Facebook now a days. I digress.

So I walk in the door and the first thing my lovely husband says to me........"Ask me what your son did."

I fight the urge to run right back out the door and look at him and wonder which child did what. Logan was standing there with a proud look on his face.

So I bite," What did you do?"

Logan was never able to respond.

"Ask your son where he put Joey's DS"

No pause, " He put Joey's DS in his pants."

I immediately threw my hand over my mouth.

"Yeah, mom he stuck my DS on his penis and now it smells," Joey responded, "MOM, it is not funny, stop laughing."

I turned my head to where he could not see me and told him, " I am not laughing at that, I am laughing at something someone else told me the other day." (This is a classic line the kids have used on me many times)

It is at that time I looked up and see Logan was standing there. He was starting to realize I was too amused to punish him. Truly that is about the only way our children can escape trouble. Making us laugh is the valued asset in this house.

So with my hand over my mouth, I walked back to the room and started my lecture.

"LOGAN as a mom, I have to tell you that is horrible for you stick any of Joey's toys on your privates parts. But as an older sister.......hysterical."

"MOM", was the response from Joey in the background. "It is not funny that Logan put my DS on his nuts."

With that being said, it is air apparent I am least mature parent in the world. Sometimes I wonder who put me in charge in the first place.

Joey's First Crush.......Awwwww

So my little baby boy, one of the sweetest children, I know. Well my baby boy, has his first crush. If he knew I was blogging about it, he would be pouting in his room if she was not here.

So Taylor has slowly developed a wonderful friendship with a middle school girl named Sophie. Sophie and Taylor spend a great amount of time with each other. They are currently making a little horror movie for youtube.

Joe and I noticed that every time Sophie comes over, Joey suddenly has clothes on. We encourage our children to stay clothed but Joey has been anti-clothing since he was born. As soon as he learned how to dress himself, he learned how to undress himself. Many times when Joe and I get home with the kids from a family event, this child is suddenly in his underwear. Joe and I will barely have put our keys down and almost naked Joey is running around.

So we knew something was up when he started dressing himself under no duress.

Oh course, Joe and I are mature parents and asked the boy if he liked Sophie. Okay, okay it was more like.......Joey likes Sophie, Joey likes Sophie.

Which made him stomp out of the room.

Finally, we told Joey. "Look it is okay to think she is pretty."

He said to me with his arms crossed and his face pick, "OKAY I think she is pretty but I don't LOOOOOOVVVVVEEE her."

Many times over the next days, I heard a yell out of my little boy......"I don't lOOOOOVVVVEEEE her TAYLOR and/or LOGAN."

This is the price of being a Rupp.

So today Sophia came over so Logan can help her put strings on her new guitar. We noticed that not only had Joey put on clothes. It was not just the clothes he put on, it was the outfit he had chosen. He choose a pair of jeans(unzipped) and a sleeveless Ohio State shirt that shows his belly because it is 3 sizes to small. He looks like a little muscle builder from the 80s.

I cannot wait to blog about Logan and Taylor first crush.

Joey "razorface" Rupp's 7th Birthday

So today was my little man's 7th birthday. As I write this, I have memories of the day I had him. 7 years ago at this time (9:32 pm) I was pushing and crying. Well mostly crying and he was born at 9:40 pm.....tear. It is hard to believe time goes by so fast.

He told me last week that he was going to be a grown up. Well I am usually and expert at decoding Joey and can detect when the wheels are turning in his head. I must be slipping because I had no idea what was coming next.

I went to lay down for the my lunch break and Joe fell asleep on the couch. About 45 minutes, I awake to the birthday boy with ace band-aid and a towel. In my haze, I realized the child was bleeding. I asked my little baby boy why he was bleeding and he told me that he feel off his bed. Considering I split my eye open when I was 9 after I feel off my bed, it made sense.

I got up and walked to the living room where he was sitting and realized that the child was actually bleeding pretty bad. I started to examine and question. True to his nature, he stuck with his story. At that time, Logan walked out of the bathroom with his razor and his shaving cream. It was obvious he was lying. I asked my son of 7 years...."Son, did you try to shave."

He shook his head with fury. "son, did you try to shave?"

He was sticking to his story but he was looking guilty. Finally I negotiation no punishment in exchange for the truth. He bowed his head and admitted he thought he was old enough to shave.

Joey told me he had hair on his chin and needed to shave like daddy. And of course my heart melted, like it always does when it comes to Joey.

I told him if it was a good idea when we were asleep, it would be a good idea when we were awake.

Joey's little face bleed for at least 5 hours before it stopped.

We continued to enjoy his birthday and took him to Gamestop where he picked out Pokemon game. Then we made our usual trek to Skatenation for a round of laser tag. Joey played for the first time without us lying about his age. I know we were teaching him to lie but it would be horrible to leave him out. Now I know why he is completely okay with lying to us. But that is another blog. However, I am still shocked when Joey lies to me. Sometimes I am not the brightest.

We ended the night with dinner at Jason's Deli. Joey picked it because it has Glue-TON free food. He is such a sweetie. Of course the rest of the night he was mad because everyone called him razor face.

Then on the way home we reminisced about all the dumb things our kids have done over the years. There has been many.

Logan tried to break into a snack machine in the teacher's lounge with a plastic fork when he was in 4th grade. No words, just shook my head. Logan cut the dog's hair. He shoved an action figure down the toilet. He got suspended when his girlfriend gave him a stolen item from a school sale. He bit someone in first grade because the kid was picking his nose.

Taylor list is short. When she was two she drank rubbing alcohol twice. We were beginning to think she was going to be in AA. Then 6 months ago, she left her DS on the playground. Which I did not know she even took it out of the house. I really think the paint pealed from the ceiling that day from my yelling.

Who knows what the future will hold with Joey. Attempting to shave is up there at the top. Honestly, I am just glad he did not try to shave his neck. Now all the razors have gone up until we can trust Joey's decision making skills.

Joey is mad I am blogging about this and I informed him....."don't do stupid stuff."

Joey Hearts Dr. Phil

So my Joey is quite the character. He is having a really rough time with Logan being a teenager and not playing with him anymore. They have quite a few arguments about Pokeman and video games.

Since I have been working at home, I tend to watch Dr. Phil a lot. And I guess I did not realize what a profound impact it was having on Joey. The other day he got mad at Logan and told us he was contacting Dr Phil. Apparently Joey believes Dr. Phil knows all. We all kinda laughed because he was cute but he was completely serious.

Well this rivalry is pretty serious because he told me he googled Dr. Phil the other day to tell him about Logan. He told me he was going to email Dr. Phil and since I can find emails, I should find Dr. Phil's email. I explained it is not that simple. I tried to explain to him Logan is just a normal teenager but atlas I am not getting through.

Joe does a great Dr. Phil voice, he tried to talk to Joey in it and the poor kid just gets mad.

So according to Joey, Dr. Phil is the savior of 6 year olds.

New Joey Sayings Part 2

This child never quits. When he is talking something funny is coming out of it. Here are the latest.

1. Mommy I changed my name to Joey Johnson because it rhymes.

2. Yo Yo Yo

3. My butt is soft mom.

4. Byouyah, Baby.

5. LOL......amigos(not sure where he got that one).

6. Two place is good.

Joeyism.....his soon to be famous quotes.

Joey is notorious for saying the funniest thing.....he is my muse. Here are few quotes from my future philosopher.

1. That sucks butt.

2. I don't know I can't read the words.

3. Is Nesta with Martin Luther King and George Washington?

4. Shake my money maker.....shake what you mom gave you.

5. Your gay Logan.

6. Mom, Taylor cursed. She said the "S" word. She said stupid.

7. I like my shoes on the wrong feet.

8. I don't know how to do it mommy, I am just a kid.

9. My tooth fell out, now I am 6.

10. Logan is a criminal, he needs to be arrested.

11. Dad won't let me tell him the truth about my feelings.

12. I am not arguing, I am sad.

13. I am sorry mom, I can't stop crying.

14. Taa-wer

15. No-gan

Mommy your fat....don't be mad

Well I found a WII Fit at Stony Point Mall. I love that mall. It was were we first found the WII. I bought each of the kids new games so I could have my fun.

Joe was at a concert with the station so I had the whole place to my self. Logan set up the game for me. I was excited.

So I went through the body test. Well needless say I am overweight. Of course they do not account for my big boobs. Anyway they made my character chunky to match me.

Well the next morning, Joey commented on the fact that my MII was fat. He told me, "Mom, you know why your character is fat?"

"You will be mad."

"No Joey I will not be mad." I responded not really sure where he was going with it.

"Because your fat mommy," then he acted sad and like he told me something that I did not know.

I wanted to say well it was his fault. But I walked away.

Truly it is his fault sort of. It started when Taylor was almost two. I got pregnant but the pregnancy was doomed from the start. I had a hard time and had to have surgery. Well the doc told me that I might never be able to have another child due to scar tissue.

So I never went back on birth control hoping it would eventually happen. I tried not to think about it. After a year, I began to worry. I was a natural food store and asked the guy if he new of something that might help.

He told about progesterone cream. He said that it helped regulate your hormones and your ovulation. All I had to do was rub it on my wrist or stomach when I was on my period.

He left out on thing, it made you gain weight. It did. I gain 20 pounds during that time. But in November of 2002 when I was ready to give up I found out I was pregnant with Joey.

I have not been able to lose the weight that I gain due the cream. However I would do it all over again if I knew that it help me conceive Joey even though he told me that I was fat.

But I now have a plan to lose this weight.

Logan the Crimnal

Since the episode at Best Buy yesterday upset me so much, I contacted the company. I emailed various people and CCd the CEO.

To make a long story short, I got to go and switch out my television. Since Taylor was working on her project and Logan was playing guitar, Joe and I decided take along little Joey.

Well he chattered about multiple things and gave us his latest rendition of the alphabet song. The extended version.

So after we went and traded out the TV we drove to pick up something to eat. It was out of the back of the car a voice suddenly demanded that his big brother was a criminal.

Joe and I was floored. Little Joey started explaining to us that Logan beats him up all the time. That he is a criminal and needed to be arrested. He kept repeating that Logan belongs in jail and tried to convince Joe and I that Logan needed to be put away permantly.

He explained that Logan would push him and boss him around when we were away. The funniest thing was they way he said CRIMINAL.

Joey was not joking and certainly not backing down. At night he dreams that Logan is beating him up. My theory is that Logan probably pushed him around like normal brothers but I think he dreams the rest of it.

Of course Taylor is always sweet and nice to Joey. But Logan is evil.

I find it slightly hard to believe because that morning I had to almost Taylor and Joey off each other.