Barkley and Me: The War Rages On

My whole life I loved kitties. I just wanted to cuddle and smush their little face. However my step-dad did not like cats at all. So as I child, I was never really around many of them.

In 1992 I moved to my dad's house in Florida. For a while it was just him and I in a big huge house. So when I was offered a cat, I jumped on it. Being the bad teenager I was at the time, I brougt the new kitty home without my dear ole' dad's permission.  He still loves to tell the story of how he woke to go to work and opens his bedroom door and hears a little meow. I do not know if I can describe the anger in his eyes and he has never let me live it down.

I named the cat Diana, she was precious. However it became clear she loved my dad and not me. I was an annoyance who changed her litter box. So when I moved out later, I did not take her with me. Once again, something that irritated my dad. In fact for years every time I talked to him he wanted to know when I was going to pick up my cat. I truly believe he would never let me. He did however offer to give her to me as a wedding present but atlas I got a toaster instead. When she passed, my poor dad was devasted.

When I met my husband he had a black lab. She loved me at first until I started sleeping on her side of the bed. Then she would just chew up my socks when I slept. Nesta and I had a rocky relationship in the beginning. I think were both trying to claim the alpha role in the house. Atlas I won and she became my special friend.  We had her for 11 years and I adored her deeply.

When we lost her, I could not bare another dog. She was too special. My best friend Chelsea offered to bring me a kitten. Considering my general history with cats, she promised to bring me the sweetest cat she could find.

So in June 2009, she brought the cutest black kitten ever born. I named him Backley, my husband insisted a boy cat would love me. I am not listening to him again.

This little thing just looked at me. He was cutest kitty I had ever seen. I genuely do not think he looked at me like I was the custest human he ever had seen. Moreover I think he thought I was a giant two year old wanting to cuddle with him.

Tell me that is not one of the cutest faces ever.

For the first year I pretty much annoyed him.  In that year my husband also came up with a European voice for him and a facebook page. He kinda took on a Stewie persona in the house. Always threatening through my husband. One day I sat Joe down and told him that he was not channeling the cat and he was from Alachua and not Europe.

 He became quite famous among family and friends. Everyone would ask me about my little friend.

Then I startd verbally arguing with him(my husband voice) about things as it it was real. I really think Barkely believes I am nuts.

As he got older he started to do things, I think to make me think I was scrazy.

One day I was sitting in the living room, I heard a big crash. No one was home, so it was not my kids. Then I ran into kitchen as my little man ran out.  On the kitchen counter the was a glass of water tipped over and the counter was soaked in water.

I walked into the hall, the cat is sitting, licking his paw, and looked up at me as if to say, "What happened mom?" I put my hands on my hips and walked away. I thought I heard  little laughter.

He geneally seems annoyed that we did not buy a sixth table chair for him. He takes his seat at dinner every night until one of us kicks him off. In fact on night we were having steak, he jumped up on the table and stole Logan steak while we talking about how cute he was on the table. He tried to eat the whole dang thing.

One morning he decided it was play time, he ran back and forth through the house for an hour. Of course I was the only one he woke up, after throwing several things in his general direction he just would not stop. I gave up, and went into the living room to find him sleeping. That morning every time I walked by him I woke him up on purpose. He looked at me like I was the jerk.

This year I dressed as him for Halloween and we took pics together. I cannot tell you how annoyed he was that I was forcing him to take pictures. He generally only wants me to pick him up if I have milk or ham for him.

He is also notorius for peeing in boxes. You cannot leave on the floor for more than a minute.

The cat is a constant pain, but I love his little face. I have many more stories. I thought it would be good to lay the foundation of our relationship. Sometimes I swear he thinks his job is to push me into a mommy meltdown.



Joey: And The Amazing Barkley

Yep you got it, another about poor Barkley.

Most people know that I am not a morning person at all. The two oldest are definitely not either. However Joey wakes up with a smile on his face every morning and Saturday is no exception. Most of the time if we are asleep he will crawl on the couch and watch Spongebob until we get up.

It was about 830am last Saturday. I was laying there cursing the fact I was awake and wanted to sleep in. I heard something and I got up to investigate the noise. I opened the door and saw Joey laying the couch watching cartoons.

"Are you okay, buddy," I asked.

"Yes mommy, I am watching Spongebob," he said in his sleepy little voice.

"I am going to lay down for a few more minutes. Watch cartoons and I will be up soon."

"Okay mommy."

I looked down and Barkley was whining to get into Logan's room. So I opened the door for him and he ran in there.

I laid back down telling myself that Joey is seven and able to be left in the living room. In the middle of my justification, I heard this loud kitty scream right outside my door.

I flew out of bed and opened the door and there Joey stood looking guilty.

I asked, "What happened?'

"Mom, Barkley closed his tail in the door," he said super quickly.

"What?"

I could see the wheels turning in his head. Was mom going to buy it? Guess not, I should change my story.

"It was an accidennnttttt."

So I grabbed the cat and he seemed fine, annoyed but fine. I put him down and he ran away.

Then I looked at Joey again and did not say a word.

"Mom it was an accident."

A thousand questions went through my mind. Why was this child in the hall? Did I not just tell this child to stay on the couch and watch Spongebob? Why in the heck am I up this early?

And the anger started to build.

I looked at him and snapped, "Go lay down on the couch. "

I went back to bed cursing. Too mad to sleep, I finally got up and went into the living room.

Later that week we were discussing his lying problem and I reminded him of the fact that he lied to me about Barkley.

He looked at me without hesitation said, "No I didn't"

Logan and my Poor Barkley Kitty

Laughter is highly valued in our household. I am not a serious person and in fact comedy in our house is an asset to whoever can figure out how to incite giggling. Logan has always been a great sport, you can joke about almost anything and he never gets offended or upset. He rarely tells jokes or pulls pranks because he is not good at it. In fact, jokes are pretty painful to listen to coming from him.

Well tonight at the dinner table, I think he thought he would give funny another shot.

This teenage child who I bore and raised got up from the table and put his dish in the sink. He then causally walked over to Barkley(my cranky kitty cat), and picked him up. He then proceeded to lick Barkley's head like it was a Popsicle. The look on all of our faces have must been priceless. We were all in shock.

The cat looked like, WOW this is really happening.

No one could speak for the first couple of seconds, then Joe finally said to me....."Woman the boy is licking the cat." As if I missed it.

"Aren't you going to say something. "

"Nope...can't stop laughing," I said as the laughter had finally rose to my throat.

There really was no words, just a profound confusion and hysterical laughter.

Logan put the cat down and walked in his room as if nothing happened. Once again my husband try to convince me to do something.

I just responded with laughter.

Then Logan came back in the dining room two minutes later to ask for Claratin because his tongue itched. He has always been allergic to cats, not sure why licking the cat was a good idea.

So yes, Logan got away with his little display because he made me laugh.

However I am now concerned that Barkley may need some counseling in the future.