Logan and the Napkin

Well Friday night came and none of the children had plans. So they were all stuck with mommy. I decided to take the boys to get haircuts and get a few school supplies at Target. Knowing that taking all three children any where usually makes me literally insane. This particular night was particularity bad.

By the time we were done at Target I literally wanted to punch my husband square in the face. Not that he had done anything. Just because he was not there and he is my partner when it comes to dealing with them.

For some reason, they kids behave better when he is around. I have no idea why, because I have the biggest temper.

So knowing that I wanted to kill this man, he met us for dinner at Jason's Deli.

The first thing I saw on the counter was a Gluten Free sign, they now had GF bread. Finally my night was looking up. I ordered my sandwich(the first time in 6 months) and sat in anticipation.

About 15 minutes into the meal, it happened.

Let me frame this, some one in our house is always spilling something. I cannot tell you how many times Joey has dropped his drinks in various places in Richmond. Once when we went to the Richmond Flying Squirrels game, he dropped his hot dog and then I gave him mind because he was crying and he dropped mine.

He had already dropped his hot cocoa from Starbucks in Target. So I thought we had met our quota for the night.

I was wrong.

This time the guilty party was my daughter. She knocked over her almost full coke. The children had set at a different table on this glorious night because quite frankly I had enough of their faces.

So I look back and roll my eyes and told the teenager, who was vaguely staring at the mess waiting for to magically disappear, to go get napkins to clean up the mess.

Well the boy obvious did not notice the plural verbiage. So he trots back with one napkin. Yes that is right one napkin. If you did not get that, my 16 year old son ran and got one napkin to clean up an almost full glass of soda.

It was at that point that I looked at my husband and told him to look at the boy. His response, " the boy is going to live with us forever."

I had to know, "Logan why did you get one napkin?"

He shrugged and with his big puppy dog eyes and said, "I don't know."

It has now occurred to me that my husband is right. He is not moving out. Not because he has some infinite love for us and wants to stay with us,but because I do not think he would ever find his way out of parking lot. He would just drive around town wondering where his new place is located.

Joey "razorface" Rupp's 7th Birthday

So today was my little man's 7th birthday. As I write this, I have memories of the day I had him. 7 years ago at this time (9:32 pm) I was pushing and crying. Well mostly crying and he was born at 9:40 pm.....tear. It is hard to believe time goes by so fast.

He told me last week that he was going to be a grown up. Well I am usually and expert at decoding Joey and can detect when the wheels are turning in his head. I must be slipping because I had no idea what was coming next.

I went to lay down for the my lunch break and Joe fell asleep on the couch. About 45 minutes, I awake to the birthday boy with ace band-aid and a towel. In my haze, I realized the child was bleeding. I asked my little baby boy why he was bleeding and he told me that he feel off his bed. Considering I split my eye open when I was 9 after I feel off my bed, it made sense.

I got up and walked to the living room where he was sitting and realized that the child was actually bleeding pretty bad. I started to examine and question. True to his nature, he stuck with his story. At that time, Logan walked out of the bathroom with his razor and his shaving cream. It was obvious he was lying. I asked my son of 7 years...."Son, did you try to shave."

He shook his head with fury. "son, did you try to shave?"

He was sticking to his story but he was looking guilty. Finally I negotiation no punishment in exchange for the truth. He bowed his head and admitted he thought he was old enough to shave.

Joey told me he had hair on his chin and needed to shave like daddy. And of course my heart melted, like it always does when it comes to Joey.

I told him if it was a good idea when we were asleep, it would be a good idea when we were awake.

Joey's little face bleed for at least 5 hours before it stopped.

We continued to enjoy his birthday and took him to Gamestop where he picked out Pokemon game. Then we made our usual trek to Skatenation for a round of laser tag. Joey played for the first time without us lying about his age. I know we were teaching him to lie but it would be horrible to leave him out. Now I know why he is completely okay with lying to us. But that is another blog. However, I am still shocked when Joey lies to me. Sometimes I am not the brightest.

We ended the night with dinner at Jason's Deli. Joey picked it because it has Glue-TON free food. He is such a sweetie. Of course the rest of the night he was mad because everyone called him razor face.

Then on the way home we reminisced about all the dumb things our kids have done over the years. There has been many.

Logan tried to break into a snack machine in the teacher's lounge with a plastic fork when he was in 4th grade. No words, just shook my head. Logan cut the dog's hair. He shoved an action figure down the toilet. He got suspended when his girlfriend gave him a stolen item from a school sale. He bit someone in first grade because the kid was picking his nose.

Taylor list is short. When she was two she drank rubbing alcohol twice. We were beginning to think she was going to be in AA. Then 6 months ago, she left her DS on the playground. Which I did not know she even took it out of the house. I really think the paint pealed from the ceiling that day from my yelling.

Who knows what the future will hold with Joey. Attempting to shave is up there at the top. Honestly, I am just glad he did not try to shave his neck. Now all the razors have gone up until we can trust Joey's decision making skills.

Joey is mad I am blogging about this and I informed him....."don't do stupid stuff."