The Incredible Fainting Taylor

So my precious daughter, who I mistakenly thought had

more sense than the boys, has shown me the error of my ways. Sitting there with books all the time and getting perfect scores on her state exams has seriously confuse my husband and I.

So we took the whole family to Kings Dominion on Sunday for Joey's birthday celebration. It has slowly become a tradition due to the fact we have season passes and it is 20 miles away. I have the trip down to a science and the cost is really lower than going to Putt Putt, Bowling, or the movies.

Well we always go after lunchtime because I am too cheap to eat at the park. I make everyone eat lunch before we walk out the door.

You know I generally have a policy that I do not look directly at the child because if I make eye contact, they want something.

So I did not pay attention to what the children ate or drank at lunch. I was already annoyed that no one was running out the door to go have family fun time. When we first started going the kids were up at 8am and so excited. Now I have yell at them to get up before noon.

So off we went to the park, off course we cannot leave the house and have a good time unless I am completely annoyed before we leave.

So we get there and we bypassed the park photographers(because I am too cheap to pay for that either). For anyone who visits KD, stay right because they only have one photographer on that side.

We head to SpongeBob 3D. It is new favorite ride and it is in air conditioning. Joey got to decide the order of the rides, so we headed to White Canyon River after SpongeBob. The line was long but the ride was closed the last time we went so we waited. It is a water ride so we thought we could it would be worth it.

Taylor was quiet while we waited. But she is normally silent, because she is secretly a ninja. Right when we getting close to the front of the line, she told me that she was seeing colors and her lips were gray.

Before I knew it she was on the ground. She had fainted but her eyes were open. So we thought she was just exaggerating. Joe picked her up and tried to get her oriented. She seemed to understand what was going on. So we got on the ride. She was conscious but she was kept trying to lay down. We were hoping that the ride would help her and cool her down quickly. Well we got drenched and she seemed a little better.

We got off the ride and we had to help her get to a place to sit down. Joe looked at her lips and they were gray. So we realized quickly it was not the heat, it was probably dehydration. So Joey and I ran to the closest place to get a drink.

Of course when you are freaked out and in a hurry, the dumbest people seem to be in front of you. Four college age girls spent 15 minutes trying to decide if they wanted to buy one souvenir cup because obviously this is not a purchase that anyone should make a snap decision about. I wanted to hire another teenage girl to punch these four girls in the face.

I digress, so I finally get the drinks which had no ice because they were out and made it over to the table where Joe had Taylor and was trying to keep her stable because she was still pale as a ghost. I gave her the drink and she drank and drank and drank.

Her color quickly came back.

I started asking her questions. I wanted to know exactly what she had drank since she woke up. Apparently she woke up and ate cereal with milk.

I asked my daughter if she drank anything with her lunch.

NOPE, nothing. And she preceded to look at me like I was nuts. I could not wrap my head around eating lunch and not having anything to drink with it. Not to mention she had a sandwich.

It was about 3:30 when she fainted. And she had half a cup of milk since 9am.

So apparently I will have to remind my daughter to drink fluids before we head out into the world. There is a possibility we will have to give her instructions on how to come out of the rain in the future.

So Joey and Taylor make a great pair. The razor face boy and the incredible fainting ninja.

Signs for my Children: For Logan

I sat the empty box by the door to taken to the trash by the teenager. Of course it sat there and sat there. So I finally made the child a sign.

It actually worked, he took it out.

Joey "razorface" Rupp's 7th Birthday

So today was my little man's 7th birthday. As I write this, I have memories of the day I had him. 7 years ago at this time (9:32 pm) I was pushing and crying. Well mostly crying and he was born at 9:40 pm.....tear. It is hard to believe time goes by so fast.

He told me last week that he was going to be a grown up. Well I am usually and expert at decoding Joey and can detect when the wheels are turning in his head. I must be slipping because I had no idea what was coming next.

I went to lay down for the my lunch break and Joe fell asleep on the couch. About 45 minutes, I awake to the birthday boy with ace band-aid and a towel. In my haze, I realized the child was bleeding. I asked my little baby boy why he was bleeding and he told me that he feel off his bed. Considering I split my eye open when I was 9 after I feel off my bed, it made sense.

I got up and walked to the living room where he was sitting and realized that the child was actually bleeding pretty bad. I started to examine and question. True to his nature, he stuck with his story. At that time, Logan walked out of the bathroom with his razor and his shaving cream. It was obvious he was lying. I asked my son of 7 years...."Son, did you try to shave."

He shook his head with fury. "son, did you try to shave?"

He was sticking to his story but he was looking guilty. Finally I negotiation no punishment in exchange for the truth. He bowed his head and admitted he thought he was old enough to shave.

Joey told me he had hair on his chin and needed to shave like daddy. And of course my heart melted, like it always does when it comes to Joey.

I told him if it was a good idea when we were asleep, it would be a good idea when we were awake.

Joey's little face bleed for at least 5 hours before it stopped.

We continued to enjoy his birthday and took him to Gamestop where he picked out Pokemon game. Then we made our usual trek to Skatenation for a round of laser tag. Joey played for the first time without us lying about his age. I know we were teaching him to lie but it would be horrible to leave him out. Now I know why he is completely okay with lying to us. But that is another blog. However, I am still shocked when Joey lies to me. Sometimes I am not the brightest.

We ended the night with dinner at Jason's Deli. Joey picked it because it has Glue-TON free food. He is such a sweetie. Of course the rest of the night he was mad because everyone called him razor face.

Then on the way home we reminisced about all the dumb things our kids have done over the years. There has been many.

Logan tried to break into a snack machine in the teacher's lounge with a plastic fork when he was in 4th grade. No words, just shook my head. Logan cut the dog's hair. He shoved an action figure down the toilet. He got suspended when his girlfriend gave him a stolen item from a school sale. He bit someone in first grade because the kid was picking his nose.

Taylor list is short. When she was two she drank rubbing alcohol twice. We were beginning to think she was going to be in AA. Then 6 months ago, she left her DS on the playground. Which I did not know she even took it out of the house. I really think the paint pealed from the ceiling that day from my yelling.

Who knows what the future will hold with Joey. Attempting to shave is up there at the top. Honestly, I am just glad he did not try to shave his neck. Now all the razors have gone up until we can trust Joey's decision making skills.

Joey is mad I am blogging about this and I informed him....."don't do stupid stuff."

Logan Stories: The BP Story

Not sure who put me in charge, but some how I am a mom. Well as many people know I have a teenager. While I was a pain in the butt teenager, I was aware of the world around me and I had interest in politics.

My son, who I found officially on the last day of school, failed the 10th grade. Not only did he fail on a whole, he failed all 7 classes but passed all of his state exams. Let me repeat, my son who use to be in honors classes, FAILED all 7 of his classes.

So in my infinite wisdom I came up with the plan. My husband and I felt Logan must have consequences.

So I decided while I am at work he had to learn something. I mean seriously I have my masters, well I am almost have my masters. I can teach the butt face something valuable. My husband told me that Tupac's mom had to read the New York Times when he was doing poorly in school.

So I woke him and bought him a book about the Vietnam War. He sat on the couch and read it. Then he did about an hour of Suduko to sharpen his brain. Then I had read the USA today. I picked really important sections relating to the war, teen issues, and the Crisis in the gulf.

So all was going well until I asked him about the political cartoon. He told me did not know what it means. I looked at him and inquired about what he did not understand.

Mom, what is a "BP"?

My brain went blank and stare at this boy who was about to become a man. Something just did not register in my head. After the many, many conversations my husband had since the spill started, the boy did not even sit up and notice.

"Son it stands for British Petroleum, " I responded after my mind fully comprehended that he seriously did not know.

"So it is part of Britain?

No, it is company headquartered in the United Kingdom and they own the oil well that is leaking.

I thought I heard crickets and a tumble weeds blew throw the living room.

I asked this child if he knew about the oil spill and they taught him anything in school. AND how did you know who BP was while living in my house.

I explained and reconsidered participating in public education. But at last, I was stuck because of the recession I did not have a job in Public Relations.......yet.

How To.......Tips for Children so Mommy's Head Does Not Explode Part 3

How to......Fill the ICE TRAYS

Children,

I know in the new high tech world most people have ice makers, but unfortunately we are not one of those families. Ice Makers is for families with real money and we ain't got any of that green stuff.

So it is up to you to fill the ice trays. This task is quite complicated. So I would to review the process with you just in case.

STEP 1:First remove the tray from the freezer(the freezer is the top door on the refrigerator or ice box depends on your region).

STEP 2:If the tray has no ice cubes in it, please proceed to the sink and turn on the water at the faucet. Then move the tray under running water and move the tray in a back and fourth motion.

STEP 3: Once full PLEASE return the tray to the freezer. Do not sit it on the counter or the table, these things do not freeze water.

This is to be done after you remove any piece of ice from each trays.

I am just here to help because at anytime I cannot responsible for my behavior if I pull a tray out and there is nothing in them.

I assure it will not detract you from your video game or Spongebob Square Pants time it takes exactly 10 seconds if using these steps.

Joey Hearts Dr. Phil

So my Joey is quite the character. He is having a really rough time with Logan being a teenager and not playing with him anymore. They have quite a few arguments about Pokeman and video games.

Since I have been working at home, I tend to watch Dr. Phil a lot. And I guess I did not realize what a profound impact it was having on Joey. The other day he got mad at Logan and told us he was contacting Dr Phil. Apparently Joey believes Dr. Phil knows all. We all kinda laughed because he was cute but he was completely serious.

Well this rivalry is pretty serious because he told me he googled Dr. Phil the other day to tell him about Logan. He told me he was going to email Dr. Phil and since I can find emails, I should find Dr. Phil's email. I explained it is not that simple. I tried to explain to him Logan is just a normal teenager but atlas I am not getting through.

Joe does a great Dr. Phil voice, he tried to talk to Joey in it and the poor kid just gets mad.

So according to Joey, Dr. Phil is the savior of 6 year olds.

The Arguments: Joey VS Taylor

So my children have taken up arguing as a full time hobby. Yeah ME.

I do not think they can get through a day without it. It comes as naturally as breathing to them.

So yesterday Taylor was loading the dishwasher. When my daughter does this, she wears her iPod Shuffle. Lately she sings out loud during the process and without the music in the background it sounds a bit odd. Yesterday during a rendition of one particular song that she loves, Joey got annoyed. He was playing on the computer directly behind her and Joe and I were sitting on the couch in the living room.

Suddenly Joey states, "Taylor stop singing, you are annoying me."

"I can sing if I want."

"Taylor stop singing, you make my head hurt, " Joey responded.

Now mature parents would have went in the kitchen and stopped the argument before it progressed. But as I have established in past posts, Joe and I are not mature parents. So Joe and I sat on the couch and giggled.

Taylor got louder, Joey informed her about what he thought of her singing. Then little Joey turned up his music. Joe and I continued to giggle on the couch.

Finally Joey turned the music on his computer way up and I interceded.

Because while there argument was cute and funny. It is kinda neat to listen to how they interact.

The noise trumped all other cuteness.

Which brings me to this valuable lesson.

PARENTS do not care about JUSTICE, they want quiet. -Bill Cosby