How To.......Tips for Children so Mommy's Head Does Not Explode Part 3

How to......Fill the ICE TRAYS

Children,

I know in the new high tech world most people have ice makers, but unfortunately we are not one of those families. Ice Makers is for families with real money and we ain't got any of that green stuff.

So it is up to you to fill the ice trays. This task is quite complicated. So I would to review the process with you just in case.

STEP 1:First remove the tray from the freezer(the freezer is the top door on the refrigerator or ice box depends on your region).

STEP 2:If the tray has no ice cubes in it, please proceed to the sink and turn on the water at the faucet. Then move the tray under running water and move the tray in a back and fourth motion.

STEP 3: Once full PLEASE return the tray to the freezer. Do not sit it on the counter or the table, these things do not freeze water.

This is to be done after you remove any piece of ice from each trays.

I am just here to help because at anytime I cannot responsible for my behavior if I pull a tray out and there is nothing in them.

I assure it will not detract you from your video game or Spongebob Square Pants time it takes exactly 10 seconds if using these steps.

The Arguments: Joey VS Taylor

So my children have taken up arguing as a full time hobby. Yeah ME.

I do not think they can get through a day without it. It comes as naturally as breathing to them.

So yesterday Taylor was loading the dishwasher. When my daughter does this, she wears her iPod Shuffle. Lately she sings out loud during the process and without the music in the background it sounds a bit odd. Yesterday during a rendition of one particular song that she loves, Joey got annoyed. He was playing on the computer directly behind her and Joe and I were sitting on the couch in the living room.

Suddenly Joey states, "Taylor stop singing, you are annoying me."

"I can sing if I want."

"Taylor stop singing, you make my head hurt, " Joey responded.

Now mature parents would have went in the kitchen and stopped the argument before it progressed. But as I have established in past posts, Joe and I are not mature parents. So Joe and I sat on the couch and giggled.

Taylor got louder, Joey informed her about what he thought of her singing. Then little Joey turned up his music. Joe and I continued to giggle on the couch.

Finally Joey turned the music on his computer way up and I interceded.

Because while there argument was cute and funny. It is kinda neat to listen to how they interact.

The noise trumped all other cuteness.

Which brings me to this valuable lesson.

PARENTS do not care about JUSTICE, they want quiet. -Bill Cosby

How To.......Tips for Children so Mommy's Head Does Not Explode

Children,

I am here to help you. This is the first in my how-to series. What is this purpose of the this blog you might be asking, well I am going to tell you, it is so that lovely woman you call mommy does not lose her mind and shoot you in the face with a fictional bazooka.

Here is how:

Step One: Remove the last empty toilet paper from the roll. (Most of them you squeeze together and it pops right out).

Step Two: Throw the used toilet paper roll in the trash......this is important so DO NOT skip it.

Step Three:Reach under the sink (the thing were you are suppose to brush teeth) and pull out a new roll of toilet paper.

Step Four: Take said toilet paper and put it on the roll (see Step one for

instructions).

Prep Time: 3 seconds

Actual Time: 6 seconds

****Time saved not hearing your mom yell at you for putting it on the floor,in the sink, or the bathtub, your whole life.

Questions that Instantly Irritate Parents

All of these questions has tendency of
spending a nagging pain down a mom's
spine. This is especially true if you have
a long day at work.


1. Mom, can you make him stop?

2. Mom, can I have a snack?

3. Mom, can I have a toy?

4. Mom, can you make him stop touching me?

5. Mom, why is he looking at me?

6. Mom, can you go to the store and buy me stuff for my project that is due tomorrow?

7. Mom, can my friend come over, because I already asked her?

8. Mom, I know you have been working all day and your hair is mess and you have circles under your eyes but can you meet my new friend's mom?

9. Mom, why did my brother (and/or sister) get more than I did?

10. Mom, can I watch SpongeBob again?

11. Mom, why.......? (This is especially annoying when you are told you are wrong after)

12. Mom, are you hiding from us again?

*Feel free to send me any question that irritates you. I will be happy to add it.

Added By Jaime......"one that annoys me is right when I walk in the door I get, mom what's for dinner, or mom is dinner ready yet."

Added By Stephanie....The setting: School Morning, 5am (coffee still perking)
"Mom, have you washed clothes. I have nothing to wear."

Mommy Secrets Revealed..........

Nagging Works Sometimes.....

This is primarily applies to multiple-children families.

If you have no brothers or sisters, it is not likely this will work.

AND if you are the oldest, good luck because our will is still strong.

As I said before in my Mommy Rules post, Mommies want quiet. Once again this can be a tactical advantage for a child.

Mommies do not have a super strength and can be worn down. I have the general policy which states, " I do not negotiate with terrorist."

Nagging can be our kryptonite.

When we want quiet anything is possible.