My kids are future Lawyers: The Story of the Contract

So it is Veterans day, a day to celebrate the selflessness of the those who served this great country and all the freedoms we hold dear like contractional law. To celebrate my two youngest got out of school early.

The two of the them came home and preformed their normal routine which is normally argueing. As I am working,  and I hear Joey talking to Taylor and his voice was gradually starting to raise. 

"Taylor we had a contract, you have to play with me," Joey yelled.

"No, I don't, Joey leave me alone," she responded.

"But we have a contract and you signed it," he yelled back at her.

It is at this time, I decide to intervene."What is going on?"

Joey stomps out into the living room. "MOM, Taylor and I had a contract that I would not bother her for ten days and it has been 10 days. "

I just looked at him for a moment trying to understand what the heck he was talking about.

"So you and Taylor have a contract? I asked.

"Yes, mom," he said.

"So was this contact verbal or written?" Thinking slightly this is a ridiculous question and that he probably did not understand.

"It was written mom," he stated with confidence.

So I asked him to bring it to me thinking the could have not possibly wrote a contact.

He stomped back out with an 8x10 paper and some red marker and it said:

This contract says that Joey wil not annoy Taylor for 24 hours. That if I want to be by myself then I can for 1 hour each day than he will leave me alone after and 1 pick the game.

I then looked at my son with a satisfied look on his face.

I then looked at him and then my husband, "They both signed and initialed it."

"Yeah, mom the intitials were Joey's idea," Taylor said now in on the conversation.

"Well Taylor, you have a legal and binding contract, you have to abide by the contract, " I responded.

My husband looked at me, "that is blog worthy."



Guest Blogger: Boys will be boys

This was submitted to me by a good friend who loves to share her silly kid stories. I have feeling after this one, she will have many more to share. Enjoy:

Boys will be boys: Usually at the Wrong time

I’m a mother of two boys Mark who is 10 and Aaron who is 12. I became a single mom when they were about 4 and 6. One day I got this brilliant idea that my older son should join the Cub Scouts….

So he joined and we did this for one whole school year. I’m not sure which one of us hated it more, but I was not going to quit. I felt that we made the commitment we were going to stick it out. That was until the “field day” experience. Then I made his dad take him.

It was a Saturday afternoon and some genius thought a field day would be a wonderful idea. I’m sure it would have been if they had planned fun activities or showed up on time. Standing in the middle of a large field with a group of snooty parents while our older children ran around in circles was not my idea of fun.

I also had my 4 year old Mark who was not allowed to participate in this overwhelming fun. So he decided to work on perfecting his ability to embarrass his mommy. It worked…

About 45 minutes into the joyous event I’m listening to some mom talk about potty training or time out corners or something equally obnoxious when Mark pulled his move…

He reaches up grabbed both my breasts and yells at the top of his lungs “Honk, honk”!!!! There was no time to react and grab his hands before the entire group of parents stopped talking and turned to stare.

Needless to say we left…immediately!



The Bubble Head Twins: The White Jean Woman

It may come as a surprise to many people who know me that I am not exactly a tennis-bracelet wearing mom. I do not join the PTA, hang out at bake sales, or volunteer for much of anything. If I can buy it, I will bring it. I do not even pretend like I bake it, I leave the Kroger label on it.

I do attend all the school events but I complain about it and hate every second of it. However, I am there.

So Taylor started middle school a couple weeks ago at Tuckahoe Middle. Last week was open house. Let me explain how open house works. Parents get the "PTA pitch for donations" speech and listen while they talk about how awesome they are and the great things they have planned. They do this to parents who are all looking at their cell phones and not paying attention. Then they introduce everyone to the staff that no one is close enough to see.  Then they dismiss you to go meet all of the teachers. Just the process of leaving the building reminds every parent of why they hated their own middle school experience.

Taylor has 8 classes and we had to follow her schedule during the day with 5 minutes to get to her class and 7 minutes to listen to a super tired teacher tell us how their class is structured.

In order for my husband and I to cope with this miserable experience, we tried to seek something to amuse us. Well this particular night our amusement walked out of the gym wearing white jeans.

Let me set the seen, this couple who looked nicely groom and moderately loaded walked out together. The mom was perfectly manicured, had an expensive hair style, and wore perfectly fitted white jeans. The husband reminded me of an absent-minded executive who spent more time at frat parties in college than class.

Fortunately my husband and I choose a seat close to them in the gym. We overheard them bragging to the parents behind us about how their son.....let's call him "Chip," not to protect his identity but because I cannot remember the boy's name, played football for the middle school. So Chip was on the football team and he was at practice and had a collision with another child. Now he has to wear a knee brace. I might have forgotten the story but they told to everyone who would listen.

Joe and I looked at each other in that couple sort of way. That way that says, "Can you believe these idiots behind us?" You know, that look.

So we walk out of the gym and some how they maneuvered their way in front of us.  And low and behold Joe and I looked up at the same time. On the butt of the lady perfect white jeans was brown smudges of dirt all over the back.

Once again, Joe and I gave each other the look.

Now this could happen to anyone, but it was because they seem to have this arrogance about themselves that they were so much better than everyone else made it funny to us.

Taylor apparently had this Chip kid in her class for the first four periods, so of course we got hear over and over about their son having a knee injury and playing football. The thing that was the most irritating was they seemed like that they were bragging. Wahoo.......my kid cold be disabled for life. Yeah us.

Finally we got to Taylor's civicz class and once again the Bubble Head twins were in class. Joe and I tried to be good and sit as far as way as possible but you could not help but hear it.......again.

This time they were telling the teacher about their son, football, and his knee. They went on to tell the poor teacher, who I am sure was tired as heck, all about it. The teacher politely listen and nodded. Finally after that, no more bubble heads. Joe and I finish out the night with nothing to laugh about.

We went home and was telling Taylor all about the parents. She looked at me and said....."Mom, are you talking about my civics teacher?"

"Yeah, they were telling him all about," I finished  the story.

"Mom, you know that teacher is the head football coach for the school," she said.

This time Joe and I looked each other and laughed.

These two parents were bragging to the coach about their son as if he did not know about the injury. They both were obviously oblivious to the fact this man coached their child.